


Spring Snow

by Toguro



Category: Jrock, exist†trace, the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aoiha - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Vomiting, hanahaki, more angst than fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:36:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14607414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toguro/pseuds/Toguro
Summary: Kouyou works as an overnight cashier at a grocery store. It's slow and mundane. At least his friends make his shifts go faster. They create their own fun and he enjoys hanging out with them. He is especially drawn to his friend Yuu, who literally takes his breath away. He can't stop coughing when he's around him. He notices he's been coughing up....flower petals?!





	1. Night Crew

**Author's Note:**

> I just loved the idea of hanahaki with Gazette.....so I wrote one! ( ◞･౪･)

The store was dead. Not a single customer. But what do you expect? It’s a Tuesday night. Everyone was either working night shifts or at home. Who goes to a grocery store at night? Kouyou stared at the time in the lower corner of his register screen. His checkout line was empty. The other four registers were closed, leaving him the only one at the front. He had already straightened his area as well as all the impulse candies displayed along the checkout. Now he just listened to the same songs play over the intercom as yesterday. He could have sworn he was in some sort of timestasis. He knows he’s been here for hours now, but according to the time it’s only been thirty minutes!

Apart from the lag of time, at least the overnight crew made the time enjoyable. Due to the lack of customers, the coworkers would get together in the store and pass the time however they felt like. One time that led to shopping cart jousting in the dairy isle another time it even led to a juggling contest with the expired produce.

Tonight Kouyou was waiting for the usual start to their hijinks. Yuu would come meet him at his register. They’d stop by the deli and hit up Akira. Then meet up with Tanabe in the stock room. The group would always have free reign of the store. They use to offer Naoto from security to join but she always declined. Instead they gave her discounted sweets as a way to bribe her to not tell the higher-ups. She graciously accepted and watched the antics on the camera screens.

“Hey!” Kouyou turned to see a familiar, pierced smirk grace the face of the figure walking towards him. He felt his chest tighten at the sight of his friend.

Kouyou coughed, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Just woke Tanabe up. He found a box filled with expired food in it. Guess we can figure out something to do with that.” Yuu shrugged, leaning against the checkout counter.

Kouyou laughed at his friend's carefree attitude. His black hair fell to his shoulders and framed his face as he stared at Kouyou waiting for his answer. He was shorter than Kouyou, but a few years older. Kouyou looked at his friend and chuckled at how he reminded him of an eager puppy waiting for his treat. His dark eyes drew Kouyou’s attention as they watched him.

Kouyou coughed again.

“You okay?” Yuu’s smirk lessened in its intensity, but didn’t completely leave the older one’s face.

“Yeah, let’s go get Akira.” He waved his hands and stepped out from behind his register. The pair walked towards the deli.

“You ‘til 3 again?”

“You know it.” Kouyou answered.

“We need to do something after work. We should all go out for drinks or something. We haven’t done anything like that in a while. I’m starting to get stir crazy here!”

Kouyou laughed at the way Yuu dramatically ran his hands through his hair, tossing his locks to mimic the hair of an insane person. Though it looked more like bed head to him. _It looks good on him._

The conversation stopped once they reached the deli counter and a deep voice interrupts Kouyou’s thoughts.

“It’s about time you two showed up. I was getting so bored I was gonna start switching the meats around as a surprise for the morning crew.” Akira chortled. “So what’s up?”

The two leaned over the counter to make eye contact with the source of the voice. Akira leaned back in a chair with his feet propped up on the counter. His hair was styled up and dyed blonde with a single black streak in his bangs. He had a band wrapped around his nose. When he first started to work there, he refused to remove it claiming it made him look cool and mysterious. Of course his excuse to his bosses was that it was for medical purposes.

“Hey, Tanabe found some expired foods again.” Yuu peeked over the deli counter.

“Oh good. I was getting worried there’d be nothing to do again. Let’s go before the smell of raw meat makes me nauseous.”

Akira stepped out from behind the counter and joined the other two as they walked to the back of the store. Akira carried a small, brown paper bag.

“Hold up guys, let me drop this off at Naoto.” The trio stopped outside the door to security. Akira knocked then entered. The other two waited outside.

“Naoto, we’re heading to the back, okay? I've brought you some cookies here!” Akira held up the bag. The small security room was dark except for the light coming from the monitors. In front of them sat a woman with long white hair. Here eyes were paled of any color, except for her pupils. And her lip was pierced at multiple angles. She looked intimidating, probably one of the reasons she was hired for security. She turned to Akira and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards slightly. She grabbed the bag and nodded at Akira. She hardly smiled, let alone spoke. However, Akira could’ve sworn he heard a low “Thank you.” escape from her.

Akira turned and closed the door behind him only to be greeted by the previous pair smirking at him.

“You’ve brought her cookies?” Yuu started.

“Well yeah. She’s technically in charge at nights. We gotta stay on her good side, right? It’s tradition to give her snacks.” Akira continued towards the back as the other two followed.

“Did you make them?” Kouyou asked and saw Akira’s cheeks reddened. He just chuckled in response and shook his head. Yuu and Kouyou looked at each other, they both knew the answer. Akira sped up his pace.

They reached the back stockroom so Yuu and Kouyou dropped the subject, until later anyways. They opened the door and found Tanabe kneeling over a dusty box. He looked up at them and greeted them with a smile. His entire face brightened when he smiled.

“Hey guys! Look what I found shoved on one of the top shelves!” He pointed at the box. Inside it was filled with aluminum cans. Some were so dusty, the labels were unreadable. A few read, “Baked Beans.”

“You found a box of beans?” Akira crossed his arms.

“Look at the expiration date on some of them!” Tanabe lifted one of the cans out of the box and handed it to Kouyou.

“Woah! These beans are from 1982!?” The trio’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Wait, this store has only been open since, what, 2002 or something?” Yuu was just as baffled as Kouyou.

“Yeah! I have no idea why they have these! Or even where they came from. Haha, someone might be saving them for something I don’t know.” Tanabe thought aloud.

“Well you found them. So they’re ours now. I hereby enact the age old tradition of Finder’s Keepers.” Akira threw his arms over Tanabe’s shoulders and leaned against his friend. “Now we just have to figure out what we wanna do with ‘em.”

“Well, I don’t want to eat them, if that’s what you’re suggesting.” Yuu took the can from Kouyou and threw it at Akira, who caught it with his free hand.

“What? You don’t want to go home sick? You get to miss work!” Akira waved the ancient can in Yuu’s face only to have it swatted away by the older man's hand.

“No thanks. I don’t want to die. You’d all miss me too much.”

“Why don’t we take them outside and open one up to see what they look like. Maybe beans looked different in the 80’s.” Kouyou joked.

“Yeah, maybe they have mullets and taste like hairspray.” Yuu added.

Tanabe picked up the box and the group made their way behind the building. It was a deserted concrete alleyway. It was dimly lit by a single light by the backdoor. The night air was cool but the lack of a breeze made it enjoyable. The dumpster by the door was filled to the top that there were a few bags sitting on the ground beside it. The night was quiet apart from the occasional sounds of cars on the highway in the distance.

Tanabe threw the box down on the ground with a thud. He was stronger than his appearance let on.

“Alright. Let’s crack these puppies open!” Tanabe grabbed a can opener out of his work apron and handed it to Yuu beside him.

“Tanabe, where did you get that?” Kouyou asked, surprised he was so prepared.

“I found it in the back one day. I think someone was eating canned foods for their lunch.”

While he spoke, Yuu was already busy opening a grungy looking can. He struggled to get the can opener started, cursing under his breath. Kouyou held out his hands silently asking to help. He handed over the can to the taller man and he opened it with little effort.

“No fair. How did you get that?” Yuu pouted as Kouyou handed the can back over to him.

“It’s not a big deal. If you can’t do that, I’m surprised you haven't starved to death yet!” He shrugged and joked earning him a hearty laugh from Akira and Tanabe. Yuu crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. He was acting childish and Kouyou couldn’t help but find it adorable. The way his bottom lip poked out made his piercing more eye catching.  

Kouyou started coughing again. This time it lasted long enough for him to lose his breath. The light-hearted atmosphere changed to one of concern when they realized Kouyou was getting winded. Yuu uncrossed his arms and held Kouyou’s shoulders as he hunched over.

“Hey, you okay? You need to head back inside?” Tanabe asked in a calming voice.

Once he caught his breath, Kouyou shook his head. “No…” he panted. “I’m fine. Must have got something caught in my throat.” He rubbed his neck.

Akira sighed in relief, “Well if you need something let us know, ‘kay? So Yuu, do the beans have mullets like you predicted?”

Yuu picked up the opened can and studied the contents. The inside of the corroded can matched the outside, only worse. The beans were still there, but they were covered in spongy white mold. Yuu gagged and handed it to Akira.

“Yeah, no mullets. And I am not eating those. No matter how much you dare me!” He protested.

Akira frowned, “Yeah no worries there. I don’t want to kill you.”

“So what do you want to do with these now that we have them out here?” Tanabe asked as he picked up another eroded can. Akira stood in silent thought before he turned to the building of their employment. He raised his arm and threw the can at the building with such force the can almost shattered into pieces due to its decrepit state. The moldy beans painted a starburst of mold and juice along the wall. The others stood there and looked at him in questioning.

“I couldn’t think of anything so I thought, I’ll just throw them. It was cooler than I thought it would be.” He laughed and pointed at his handiwork. They all stared at him while he laughed. Yuu was the first to smirk and pick up another can. He threw it with such force that it looked like he was angry at the building. He raised his arms up in victory when the can smashed to pieces and added more moldy beans to the wall.

“Finally! A mess I don’t have to clean up!” Yuu shouted. Every time they fooled around in the store, Yuu was responsible for cleaning up after them since he was the overnight janitorial staff. Tanabe threw a can after him. He aimed his higher up and managed to splash some of the antique beans onto the roof.

“Man, this is kind of cathartic isn’t it? Like we’re vandalizing our workplace.” He laughed through his dimpled smile.

“Yeah, this place sucks.” Akira scoffs. “But at least we can do this so it’s not so bad.”

“Don’t get too sentimental there Aki, we’re just throwing cans at a grocery store.” Kouyou added while he chucked his can. It bounced off the building and landed on the pavement with no damage. “What the hell!? I threw it as hard as you guys!” He protested receiving a bout of laughter from his friends.

“Maybe you picked up an invincible can! Let me give it a try!” Yuu chirped as he ran forward to pick up the metal can. Above him a can exploded on the wall as the beans and juice rained down on him. Akira had thrown another can while his back was turned.

Yuu ran towards the group shouting expletives at the blonde. His hair and shirt was dampened by moldy beans. The group laughed at the man as we wiped juice from his eyes and gagged at the mold he found in his hair.

“This is so nasty!” He whined, “Why would you do that!?”

“Because I knew you’d act like this!” Akira retorted keeling over in laughter. Tanabe’s face was hurting from his loud giggling as he fell to the ground next to Akira. Kouyou paced towards Yuu and took his work apron off. He proceeded to wipe Yuu’s hair clean with the piece of cloth, holding back his laughter while doing so.

“But you’re gonna get that dirty.” Yuu pointed out towards Kouyou.

“It’s fine. I need to wash it anyways. Now I will definitely make sure I do.”

Yuu turned his head up and looked at him with such gratitude. It made Kouyou’s heartbeat quicken. The way Yuu’s expression softened from his earlier heated expression caused Kouyou to turn his gaze away to focus on anything else. Then his chest tightened and he began to cough again. His coughing picked up and he stopped brushing Yuu off and turned away, trying his best to cover his mouth.

“Hey man, you okay?” Concern filling Yuu’s voice. Akira and Tanabe stood up and rushed towards the taller blonde. He was hunched over hacking. Akira began to rub his back to help him. His coughing grew louder and started to burn his throat. He felt something form in his throat and quickly stumbled his way near the dumpster, away from his friends.

He fell to his knees and his coughing grew into agonizing gags. His whole body shook with each cough. His lungs ached and tightened with each heave until a pool of saliva dripped from his mouth onto the concrete pavement. It burned his throat as it came up. He forced his eyes shut as he continued to retch. The sound echoed through the alleyway. His hands grew sore from clutching at the concrete below him. Soon his breath returned and he was able to slow his heart to a normal beat again.

He sighed once his episode was done and looked down. His eyebrows shot up in a mixture of surprise and curiosity. On the ground laid a pool of his saliva mixed with a few flower petals. They were a light pink color and appeared to resemble cherry blossoms. Why were they here? There weren’t any cherry blossoms around for them to be blown here by the wind. Had he just thrown them up? Why?

“Is everything okay? Do you need any help?” Tanabe called. He kept his distance as to not disturb the aching cashier.

Kouyou shook the thoughts from his head, despite how odd it seemed.


	2. Sick Day

Kouyou stood up on his shaky legs and made his way over to the concerned stocker, “I don’t know. That was, um, surprising.” He flushed at the sudden attention and worry he received from his friends. He felt like a fawn learning to walk. Tanabe rushed to his side and propped Kouyou up with his shoulder. The taller man had to lean down in order to walk, but was grateful for the help.

“How are you feeling?” Akira stood in front of the two. Kouyou shook his head trying to comprehend his surroundings. 

“I think I’m okay. That just happened so fast, I think it’ll take me a minute to get my bearings.”

“Do you want to sit down?” Tanabe asked. The cashier nodded.

“Let’s take him inside.” Yuu’s suggestion made the blonde turn his gaze towards the dark-haired janitor. He felt a tickle in his throat when he saw his friend offer a sympathetic smile.

Akira opened the back door to let Tanabe walk Kouyou inside. Yuu pulled out a folding chair from behind some stockroom shelving. He set it up and Tanabe gently set the taller man down on it. The cold metal of the chair made the cashier jump as he tried to relax onto it. It was stiff and hurt his lower back, but his nerves were too shot for him to do anything but sit there.

“I’ll let Naoto know what happened. Maybe she’ll send you home.” Akira offered.

Kouyou shook his head. “No, I should be fine. I just need some rest.”

Tanabe reached forward and set the back of his hand on his forehead, “You don’t feel like you have a fever. Maybe those moldy beans are to blame. They were pretty gross.” The stock boy smiled and flashed his dimple at his friend. 

Akira walked out of the stockroom to the selling floor. Probably to tell Naoto despite Kouyou’s reluctance. The stockroom smelt of dust and mothballs. But the air was warmer than outside, which did make the blonde cashier feel a little more comfortable. Tanabe sat on a box beside Kouyou while Yuu stood near some shelves biting his bottom lip. 

“Yuu, what’s wrong?” Tanabe asked as he noticed the dark-haired janitor’s silence.

Yuu continued to play with his lip piercing as she spoke. “I’m just worried. You looked like you were in a lot of pain.” He smiled shyly. “Are you sure you’re okay? That happened so suddenly…” Yuu trailed off as he looked at Kouyou in the eyes trying to think about his wording.

His face was smiling but his eyes still showed worry. Kouyou couldn’t help but look at Yuu’s puppy eyes and drown in the adorableness of his face. The way he chewed at his piercing and fidgeted with his hands, trying to find something to do with them until he decided to just cross his arms, gave Kouyou a twinge in his heart and a soreness in his throat. He quickly leaned over and started coughing again. He felt something crawling up his throat and he stood up. His shaky legs gave way as he began to fall forward. Yuu rushed to hold the man up even though he was taller than him. The janitor supported his friend while Kouyou covered his mouth with his hand and tried to push away with the other. He felt like he was going to throw up again. Kouyou broke free and fell to the floor, hitting the cement with his elbow. He winced in pain and rolled to his side. He opened his mouth and began coughing up a clear liquid again. It splattered across the floor and dribbled down the side of his face. Tanabe and Yuu rushed to his side. Yuu picked him off the floor while Tanabe held a plastic bag open for him.

Yuu pushed the blonde hair away from Kouyou’s face. He retched and gagged over the bag. The burning liquid shot up his esophagus and into the plastic bag. He tasted grass in his mouth. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes as they squeezed shut. In between heaves he gasped for air. The stockroom was quiet apart from the noises that Kouyou produced; his coughs echoed off the walls. 

He coughed a few more lumps of bile into the bag. He leaned back against Yuu and tried to steady his breathing. Yuu petted his hair in a soothing manner while Tanabe tied up the bag and stood to throw it away in the garbage can by the door. 

Akira returned with Naoto. They stepped into the stockroom and worry quickly filled Akira’s features. He saw a panting and pale Kouyou leaning against Yuu, Tanabe throwing away a sagging bag, and a puddle of vomit on the floor. He ran and knelt beside Yuu and Kouyou.  

Kouyou felt numb in all his limbs. He tried to remove himself from Yuu’s grip but was too weak. He closed his eyes and leaned back, focusing on steadying his breathing. His face was devoid of color and coated in a thin layer of sweat. The sides of his mouth had a trail of saliva and barf running down his face. Akira leaned over and wiped his mouth with a paper towel. Tanabe returned and set a wet cloth on the cashier’s forehead. 

Naoto walked towards the gathering of men. Kouyou opened his eyes. This was the first time he ever saw her outside the security office. She was dressed head to toe in black and held a bottle of water in her hands. She squatted down beside Akira in front of him. She reached out her hand and offered the bottle to Kouyou. She didn’t say anything and her face remained devoid of most emotions. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern slightly.

“You should head home and rest.” She spoke low. 

“But…” Kouyou squeaked out between breaths. He knew the current state he was in left little room for argument. He needed to rest at home. However, he was the only overnight cashier. Even though they didn’t have to worry about customers right now, they still needed someone scheduled. “...cashier…” he breathed.

Tanabe and Yuu looked at each other, confused. But Naoto and Akira nodded and smirked. Apparently they knew what the blonde was trying to say.

“Akira will shut down the deli and cover your shift.” She spoke in a calming voice.

“Yeah, you’ve worked every night for the past week. Go home and get some rest. I’m sure you’ll feel better after.” Akira rested his hand on the cashier’s knee. 

“Okay…” he mumbled. His thoughts were bouncing around his skull, causing a headache to form. His eyes opened and closed slowly as exhaustion began to wash over him. His neck was limp as his head rolled over Yuu’s chest. He still felt the presence of the janitor’s finger combing his hair. The action was lulling him out of consciousness. 

“He’ll need help home.” Naoto noted.

“I’ll take him.” Tanabe raised his hand in the air, volunteering. 

“Great. Yuu, help Kouyou to Tanabe’s car.” Akira stood up and held the door to the stockroom open for the trio.

Tanabe and Yuu walked on both sides of Kouyou. The taller tried his best to match paces with the others, but his legs did not want to cooperate. Instead his feet practically dragged across the floor while the two men carried him. The lights in the store were blinding the blonde, forcing his eyes shut. His head hung forward, bobbing up and down on his limp neck. All his strength left him. 

The trio walked through the automatic door at the front of the store. The cool night air greeted them once again. The cashier shivered at the change. He tried to open his eyes since the lights were gone, but his lids felt so heavy it was too much work. 

“Don’t worry Kou, we’re almost to my car.” Tanabe spoke. A mumble escaped Kouyou’s lips in acknowledgement towards the brunette. On the other side, Yuu remained silent. His eyes studied the face of the taller man as he continued biting at his lip. He watched for any signs of another coughing episode. But Kouyou only mindlessly followed along.

Once they reached Tanabe’s car, he unlocked the door and held it open while Yuu struggled to settle Kouyou into the passenger seat. He leaned over and buckled him in. Tanabe shut the door and walked over to the driver side. 

“Thank you for your help.” He smiled at the janitor.

“Be careful taking him home.” Yuu spoke. He bent down and looked into the car at Kouyou. The man looked half asleep with his eyes closed and head rested against his own shoulder. “Take care Kou, hope you feel better.” He waited for any response from the passenger. When all he received was another mumble, he smirked and turned to head back towards the store. Tanabe started up his engine. He shifted his car to drive and pulled out of the parking lot. He sped towards the highway in the direction of Kouyou’s home.

The car ride was silent. Tanabe had turned the radio off, fearful that it would disturb the taller. Kouyou opened his eyes and shifted to look out the window. He watched the streetlights pass by, illuminating the inside of the car for seconds at a time. The highway was empty of any other drivers. 

“You feeling any better?” Tanabe broke the silence. He spoke in a low and soothing voice.

“A little.” Kouyou’s voice cracked after being silent for so long. “Sorry for all this.”

“Don’t apologize. You having nothing to apologize for.” Tanabe patted his knee with his right hand. Returning it to the steering wheel a few moments later.

“It all happened so quickly. Do you have asthma or any allergies?”

Kouyou tried to shake his head but found he was still too weak to do so. “No,” he spoke instead. “I don’t know what brought that on.” He sighed. His throat still felt sore. Tanabe hummed in response, clearly thinking about the sudden turn of Kouyou’s health.

The rest of the ride was silent as Kouyou watched the stars in the sky become covered with the orange stain of light pollution from the city. It fascinated him. He found the pollution soothing in an odd way. It blocked out the space surrounding them, giving him the false illusion of being cocooned by the city. He knew it was weird to think like that, but sometimes ignorance of the unknown was bliss.

Tanabe pulled up to the curb of a brick apartment building. He stopped and turned off the engine. He exited and briskly walked to the passenger side to help the blonde out of his seat. Kouyou’s legs weren’t as weak as before. He was able to stand, but walking still proved difficult.

Tanabe helped him through the front doors and into the elevator. Luckily it wasn’t out of order, he would’ve hated to walk up any stairs. They rode the elevator to the fourth floor. Everyone was fast asleep and inside, so no one saw Kouyou’s struggle. He could only fantasize about what his neighbors would think. He never spoke with any of them due to his work schedule, so he had no idea about what kind of people they were. 

The pair stopped outside of Kouyou’s door. The cashier rooted around in his pockets until he finally fished out his keys. He handed them to Tanabe to unlock the door. Once inside, the brunette walked the taller back towards the bedroom. Kouyou plopped down on his comforter, soaking in the softness of the fabric. The brunette untied and removed his shoes for him.

“Is there anything I can get you? A drink? Medicine?” Tanabe leaned down at the Kouyou’s bedside.

The blonde squinted as he thought. “I have some Tylenol in the cupboard.”

The stock boy strolled out of the room. He returned moments later with a glass of water and two white pills in his hand. He handed them to the blonde who leaned up to swallow and drink the water. He set it on a nightstand and began to crawl under the cover.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “You should probably head back.”

“Are you sure you’re okay here?”

“Yeah...Sleepy.” Kouyou slurred. Tanabe chuckled and bid farewell to the blonde. Once he was gone, Kouyou didn’t have much time to be alone with his thoughts as sleep quickly rolled over him. He fell into a deep sleep and did not stir all night.

 

* * *

 

The sun blared through the blinds of Kouyou’s bedroom window. It did not wake him. The sounds of the city waking up outside did not shift him either. His eyes remained shut and his mind danced in unconscious bliss for hours. The comforter pinned him to his bed. Hours passed and the sun traveled higher in the sky, signaling noon. 

Kouyou stirred as he felt the urge to use the bathroom. It grew to the point we he could no longer ignore it. He shuffled out from under the comforter and walked across the hall. As he washed his hands he remembered last night. He fell so ill so suddenly that his friends sent him home. He was wracking his brain trying to figure out what was wrong. He felt completely fine now. He checked his complexion in the mirror. He didn’t look pale or tired. 

He left the bathroom and headed towards his kitchen, he needed something to eat. His stomach fiercely growled at him because it was empty. Especially after throwing everything up last night. He heard someone shuffling around in his kitchen. He slowed his pace down as he peered around the corner. 

Tanabe was rustling around in Kouyou’s fridge. The presence of the stock boy confused him.  _ He went home last night, right? _

The brunette turned around with a carton of eggs in his hands. He smiled when he noticed the taller one slowly step into the kitchen.

“Afternoon, Kou. How are you feeling?” 

“I feel completely fine.” Kouyou’s voice cracked after not speaking for hours. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you leave last night?” Tanabe chuckled at the other’s confusion.

“Yes. I left the moment you passed out. I came by about an hour ago and noticed you were still asleep. I thought I’d make you some breakfast. You’re probably hungry after last night.” 

“Thank you.” Kouyou bowed and Tanabe continued his movement around the kitchen. He remembered the brunette driving him home at the insistence of Naoto and Akira.

“So how did work go last night? After you went back.” Kouyou asked as he sat down at his table. 

“Boring,” Tanabe whined. “We had maybe one customer after you left. And I don’t think she even bought anything. I think she came in just to use the bathroom.” He laughed as he cracked an egg into the skillet.

“Thank you for last night.” Kouyou mumbled as he played with the fraying end of a napkin in front of him. 

“It was no problem. Do you have any idea what brought that on?” Tanabe asked as he flipped an egg with a spatula.

Kouyou shook his head. “Not a clue. I had this cough for a while now. Recently though, the cough is so bad it makes me winded and vomit.” He thought about the petals he saw when he threw up by the dumpster. His mouth also tasted of grass when he threw up. He didn’t want to mention any of that to his friend though. He was worried that would sound too odd.

Tanabe hummed. Once he was satisfied with the way the fried egg was he dumped it onto a plate and set it in front of Kouyou. He smiled and joined him at the table. The cashier ate as they sat in silence. In the middle of chewing, the brunette broke the silence between them.

“I saw flower petals when you threw up last night.” He spoke lowly.

Kouyou’s eyes widened and he dropped his fork. He swallowed hard and his eyes darted to his friend. Tanabe’s face was serious, his dimpled smile was not in sight. The room returned to silence as Kouyou tried to collect himself. He finally sighed and leaned his head back.

“So I’m not crazy, you saw them too.”

“Yes Kou, and this is serious. Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Kouyou’s brow furrowed as he looked at his friend once again.

“What do you mean it’s serious?”

Tanabe shook his head, “You don’t know?”

“Know what? I threw up flowers last night. That’s all I know.”

“Kou, you are really sick. You have Hanahaki Disease.”

The tall blonde stared at his visitor. He never heard of the illness, let alone how one got it. But with the way Tanabe spoke about it, it worried him.

“What’s Hanahaki Disease?” His hushed tone escaped his lips.

“It’s a disease you get where you throw up flowers. A flower grows from your heart into you lungs. Once it’s in your lungs it can kill you if it’s not cured.” Tanabe spoke with such professionalism on the topic.

“How do you get it?” The blonde sat up, worry starting to flood his mind.

“Unrequited love.” Tanabe answered. Kouyou paused, unsure if he was joking. The stock boy’s expression remained serious. Kouyou leaned forward.

“Are you serious?” He whispered. Tanabe nodded causing a blush to creep onto his cheeks. Kouyou looked at the table as he tried to comprehend his situation. He was throwing up flowers because of a crush?!

“How do you know all this?” He couldn’t stop the question before it escaped his mouth. Tanabe looked at his friend with a sincere smirk. 

“I had it.”

Now a blush appeared on the brunette’s cheeks as well. Kouyou’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“I never knew you were sick?! When did you have it? How did you get rid of it?” Kouyou bit the inside of his cheek to silence himself. He realized he was bombarding his friend with too many questions.

Tanabe’s gaze fell towards the table as he began to speak again.

“I had it a few years ago. I had a new neighbor move in next door. It was no big deal. I baked a small cake to welcome him to the neighborhood. When I went over to visit, I thought he was the most beautiful man I ever saw. We talked and became friends, but due to the fact that I’m a night shift worker, I hardly saw him. He worked day shift at a trading firm further in the city. I was so infatuated with him that my breath became short and I coughed a lot. When I saw a doctor, he informed me on the disease.”

Tanabe paused. He looked at Kouyou and found the blonde intently listening to every word he spoke. His dimpled smile returned.

“I was lucky though. It was hard, but I made time for him. I cut my sleep schedule down and managed to see him more. One day, after I had a real bad episode, I decided I was going to confess to him. If he truly didn’t feel any love towards me I would go through surgery. He agreed to go out with me and after a month, the plant roots receded and the doctor told me I was cured.”

Kouyou’s jaw dropped. His friend suffered and went through so much by himself. He never let any of them know about his pain. He knew Tanabe had a boyfriend, a nice man by the name of Takanori. He was a short, stylish man who treated Tanabe with such care. Sometimes he’d come into the store at night just to visit.

“Wow, you went through all that. I didn’t realize. Did you ever tell him?”

Tanabe shook his head, “No. He found out when we moved in together. He found some pamphlets I had lying around about the disease and asked me about them. I had to come clean and once he knew he cried and hugged me for hours.” He let out an airy laugh, “but it wasn’t his fault. It’s all in the past. He’s too good to me sometimes.”

Kouyou felt a wave of surprise wash over him. Tanabe was always so eager to help anyone and always smiled, to think he suffered through something like that. Kouyou then realized the situation he was in.

“Do you still have those pamphlets?” He finally spoke.

The brunette nodded, his dimple disappearing as he grew serious once again, “Yes, but you should still see a doctor. Just to know how far it has spread.” The blonde nodded. It made sense to get an actual doctor to diagnose him.

“By the way….” Tanabe grabbed Kouyou’s attention, “who is it you love?”

The blonde coughed in surprise at the question. He was glad he wasn’t drinking anything, or else he would have just done a comedic spit-take all over his kitchen table. Tanabe laughed as the blonde floundered around.

“I don’t mean to be rude. But I can help you if I know who it is.”

“Oh you don’t need to. I thank you but I couldn’t ask for your help after you suffered through yours alone.”

“Kou,” his cold tone send a shiver down the taller’s spine. “I was embarrassed and somewhat ashamed. You don’t have to be. I learned it’s not something to hide. It’s easier with help.”

Kouyou sighed, “Thank you. But-”

“It’s Yuu.” Tanabe interrupted the cashier. Kouyou’s face flushed as he once again floundered around and coughed in surprise at Tanabe’s straight-to-the-point attitude.

“How…” Kouyou drifted off as he suspiciously eyed his friend.

“I had my suspicions. And I’d say your blush confirms them.” Tanabe pointed at the blonde and giggled.

“He’s a good guy. I don’t see why you should be embarrassed. You two seem to get along fine. He is attractive.” Tanabe reached over the table and place his hand on the other’s arm in a comforting manner.

“Yeah, but you said this disease was from unrequited love.” Kouyou mumbled.

“That’s true. But that’s not written in stone. Look at me. Yuu can reciprocate your feelings someday. You just have to work at it.” 

Kouyou sighed and closed his eyes. He never thought a crush would be life-threatening. He didn’t doubt a single word Tanabe spoke. He believed his friend would help him. The only problem being that he was scared. He was frightened by the unknown horizon ahead of him. His life no longer fell into the same routine. He now had to take risks, or else his life would end. He laid his head on the table. 

“Love sucks.” He mumbled into the wooden top of the table.

Tanabe chuckled and moved his arm to rest on Kouyou’s back. “It doesn’t have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. I plotted this out so many times in my head, then I realized I had to ACTUALLY write it down. Haha! (*^^*) I hope you enjoy it as much as I do writing it!


	3. Checkout

Kouyou was tired. He went to a doctor like Tanabe advised him to. The medical professional diagnosed the blonde with Hanahaki Disease, and informed him that he was in the later stages of the illness. The roots had spread to his lungs. This scared the young man. He suspected it was serious now that he regurgitated flowers, but he hoped for better news. Tanabe promised he wouldn’t tell any of their friends at the store. As far as they knew, Kouyou was perfectly fine apart from that one night.

The cashier was currently hunched over a toilet in the bathroom stalls of his workplace. His hands gripped the porcelain seat in front of him as his head dipped down into the bowl. Petals and leaves piled up inside it. Kouyou whined out another agonizing cough. His breathing was labored and loud as he tried to gasp oxygen into his aching lungs.

The night started off with Takanori walking into the store. The short blonde was clearly there to visit his boyfriend. They all gathered up front at the registers. Tanabe and Takanori sat on top of the conveyor belt of Kouyou’s checkout line. Takanori rested his arm around the stock boy’s shoulder. Akira leaned against the opposite register across from Kouyou’s. They stood around and talked while Yuu excitedly hopped up and rode the conveyor belts of each checkout lane. His antics made everyone laugh while he pretended to surf. The janitor drew everyone’s attention.

Tanabe looked over at his cashier friend to check up on him. The cashier looked normal. No coughing or difficulty breathing. He laughed along with everyone else. But the brunette noticed the blonde side-eye the restrooms more than once.

“I have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” The cashier bowed and walked away from the group.

“Hurry back!,” Yuu called. “And you should join me up here! I bet I can lift you up and recreate Lion King!”

Kouyou chuckled back at his black-haired friend. He always had such bizarre ideas. Tanabe continued looking at the blonde as he walked normal speed towards the bathrooms. But his steps picked up speed when he noticed the blonde suppress a gag.

The blonde laid his head against the closed stall door as he slid his way up on his feet. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and panted loudly. He looked down at the toilet, it looked like it housed a garden. There were leaves and pink petals piled inside it. He also thought he saw a few small branches in the mix too. That would explain the soreness in his throat. The door to the bathroom creaked open, Kouyou quickly bent forwards and flushed the toilet.

He walked out of the stall and was greeted by Takanori standing near the sink.

“Everything okay?” The short blonde asked crossing his arms as he leaned against one of the sinks. He was dressed in a black suit vest with a white long-sleeved dress shirt underneath and matching black slacks. It was clear he came to the store after work.  

Kouyou avoided his gaze. He watched his hands as he rinsed them under the cold water from the faucet. He mumbled, “I’m fine.” The sound of the sink was louder than his voice.

“I know what you’re going through. You don’t have to lie to me.”

Kouyou’s head shot up and quickly made eye contact with the shorter, well-dressed man.  

“He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone!” His voice cracked in surprise.

“Don’t blame him. I kind of figured it out. He took those pamphlets when he went to see you that one day.” That made Kouyou feel better. But he wondered why he chose to follow him in here instead of Tanabe. He never spoke with Takanori alone, only when he was with the brunette man.

“So now what?” The cashier’s eyes watched the man through the reflection in the mirror. He had no idea how to continue. The two men know his problems, but that won’t make it go away. Tanabe pledged he’d help Kouyou, but he could not fathom any solutions to his problem that didn’t require expensive surgeries.

“Well, that’s honestly up to you. We can only help you so far.” His reply did not make the cashier happy in anyway. He sighed and closed his eyes.

“I can tell you one thing,” Takanori’s words had the taller man turning and making eye contact. “I may not know exactly everything you are going through, but I know how things are on the other end.”

He uncrossed his arms and started to fiddle with the ends of his sleeves. “When I learned everything Tanabe went through, it broke my heart. I caused him so much pain. He was in pure agony because of me. But he kept quiet about it. He still smiled at me and treated me kindly.” He blinked back the tears appearing at the corner of his eyes before he whispered, “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.”

Kouyou remembered Tanabe telling him how the shorter blonde found out. It looks like he’s still worked up about it despite all the time they’ve been together. Silence filled the air between them as they both stood beside each other thinking.

“So, should I tell him what’s happening?”

Takanori sighed in thought. “I don’t think so. Despite everything, I don’t blame Tanabe for not telling me. He may have felt I was only dating him out of pity. Or vice versa, I may have felt like he was forcing me into a relationship with him or else he’d die. So much uncertainty in telling someone. I think his approach is the best way.”

Kouyou couldn’t help but agree with the man. He never thought of telling Yuu in the first place, but it was an option. He didn’t want to put his friend in an awkward situation. Being forced into a relationship isn’t as good as one built on mutual feelings.

“Though, he had to make time for me, you at least have more luck than he did since you and Yuu work the same schedule.”

The tall cashier’s jaw slacked open and his eyes were wide in surprise. “How did you know it was Yuu?!” His voice bounced off the walls of the bathroom.

The shorter man smirked. “I asked him. He did tell me a few things.”

After Takanori laughed at Kouyou’s embarrassment for a few minutes, he walked the cashier out of the bathroom and made their way towards the registers. The pair didn’t talk anymore during their walk back. There was a silent understanding of the situation between the two men. When they stepped closer to where they were, Kouyou only saw Yuu lying down on a conveyor belt.

“Where’s Akira and Tanabe?” Kouyou mumbled to himself under his breath.

Apparently Takanori heard him and smirked. “I told you we can only help you so far.”

The realization of the shorter man’s words made Kouyou look at him. He found a smirk gracing the lips of the business man beside him while they greeted Yuu.

“About time you got back! The others abandoned me and left me all alone.” The janitor whined as he sat up.

“Where’d they go?” Kouyou asked.

“Tanabe took Akira with him to go see Naoto or something. So he’s playing matchmaker for the night.”

 _He’s not the only one._ Kouyou thought while he looked at Takanori, still smirking.

“Well, I better go find him. You two enjoy your surfing or whatever.” The short man waved at them before walking towards the back of the store. Kouyou stood in silence awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. Usually he could get along well with Yuu, but now that his life depended on having his friend fall in love with him, it made him feel too much pressure and anxiety. Yuu swung his legs back and forth against the sides of the conveyor belt. They produced a thud every time he hit it.

“So, are you feeling better today?” The janitor started.

“Yes. I’m sorry for making everyone worry.”

“Good. You scared me.”

“What?” The reply came out automatically. He tried to fathom the confession he just heard from Yuu.

The dark haired man huffed. “I’m not good with this serious stuff. But you are always quiet so when you feel sick, please tell one of us.” His face was scrunched in anger.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Kouyou apologize. Though, he knew he couldn’t stay true to his agreement. Takanori just told him not to tell Yuu about his disease.

“I just kept worrying. Thinking it was my fault.” He bit down on his lip and played with his piercing. The vulnerability he was showing right now made Kouyou’s throat tickle. But he fought back against his nausea and placed his hand on Yuu’s shoulder.

“It’s not. I should’ve told you all how sick I was earlier. So stop blaming yourself.”

They stood there for a moment. Kouyou felt the tension in Yuu’s shoulder ease at the touch and saw the man relax again. He never showed this side of himself before. He always goofed off and cracked jokes.

“Do you want to surf some more?” The cashier smiled at his friend. Yuu turned his head and nodded in enthusiasm before he stood up on top of the checkout. Kouyou lifted his legs and crawled on top of it as well. Yuu stood closer to the register and kicked the switch that controlled the conveyor belt; turning it on before the cashier was ready.

Yuu cackled as Kouyou fell on his back. The belt kept dragging him closer to the janitor while he kept pace with the movement like a treadmill. The tall man was laughing and complaining to his friend. Yuu kicked the switch to stop the movement right before Kouyou was going to knock him over. He leaned forward and offered his hand to help the blonde stand.

“You’re an ass.” He giggled while standing. Once he was on his feet again, he noticed the tight grip Yuu had on his hand. He refused to let him go. He fought back his blush and the sudden squeeze in his lungs. He looked up and found a mischievous glint in Yuu’s eyes, instead of the affection he was hoping for.

“What are you planning?”

Kouyou’s question was answered by Yuu’s actions. He quickly moved closer to him and wrapped his other arm around his waist and hoisted him over his shoulders in effortless motion.

“What the hell!?” He blurted out as he was draped over Yuu’s shoulder. He fidgeted around but Yuu’s arm kept him pinned to him with such strength. The janitor started to sing the theme from _The Lion King_. He tried his best, but he made up much of the words so his overall attempt at the song was terrible, yet funny. He kicked the switch and the conveyor belt started to move again. He was trying to run at the reverse end of the checkout while Kouyou busted out in a fit of laughter.

“What are you doing?!”

Yuu paused in his rendition of “The Circle of Life” to answer the helpless blonde. “I can’t actually hold you above my head, so I improvised.”

“Why did you turn the belt back on!?”

“I thought it’d be more fun this way.” Yuu shrugged and continued to crawl to the end of the checkout. Kouyou couldn't help but smile and laugh. The way the janitor acted on impulse was cute. The cashier had a feeling he was acting this way due to the seriousness of the conversation earlier. He bounced on his friend’s shoulder with each step the man took. He felt the strength of the older man’s arms keep him in place. The warmth off the man’s back brought him comfort. The more Kouyou thought about Yuu, the harder is was to fight the feeling clawing its way up his chest and throat.

He started to cough and fidget in Yuu’s grip. He had to get down; he had to go to the restroom. The janitor was starting to lose his balance.

“Hey man, stay still. We’re almost at the end.” Yuu laughed while he picked up his pace, causing Kouyou to bounce up and down on his shoulder more. His coughing started to shake his whole body. He felt the feeling of something slimy in his throat. He kicked his feet around and thrashed his arms. He didn’t want to throw up on Yuu of all people.

One of his swinging feet made contact with the janitor’s groin by accident. He yelped and immediately hunched over in shrill pain. He dropped Kouyou. The tall blonde falling face first onto the conveyor belt and rolling over it onto the floor. Yuu was close behind him, falling off the moving belt. He landed on top of Kouyou.

The cashiers face was touching the floor. He was fighting his gagging. The lump of vomit made its way to his mouth. He tasted the foliage and wanted to expel it right then and there. But with Yuu crushing him, he was trapped. He closed his eyes and swallowed the bile. It burned going down, but he fought the nausea.

“Shit.” Yuu groaned and rolled off Kouyou to land right beside him. He turned to look at his friend and saw the cashier’s pained expression.

“Hey man, you okay?” The pierced man reached his hand out and set it on Kouyou’s back.

“Yeah,” he panted. “Yeah. What about you? You okay? I’m sorry I kicked you.”

“Yeah, that hurt man. If you wanted down you could’ve just said so.” He chuckled. The pair started to slowly sit up, rubbing the soreness their limbs had from the fall.

“I doubt that. You would’ve just kept going and made fun of me.” The cashier teased his friend.

Yuu bit his lip in contemplation. “I guess you’re right.” He cackled and fell backwards holding his sides. Kouyou busted out in laughter at the janitor’s childish antics. They rolled on the floor in a fit of giggles.

At the back of the store, in the small room, dimly lit by multiple screens, four sets of eyes watched the two men through the camera feed; they all smiled at the scene before them.

* * *

 

“Wait, how did I come in last!” Yuu stood up, shouting at the results on the television.

“Shh! Don’t wake my neighbors!” Tanabe scolded.

It was five in the morning and the entirety of Kao’s Market night crew gathered in the living room of Tanabe and Takanori’s shared home. Tanabe, Yuu, Kouyou, and Akira were scattered through the living room playing Smash Brothers on the stock boy’s Wii U. Tanabe and Kouyou sat on the couch, Akira sat on the coffee table, and Yuu was currently standing in front of the TV. Even Naoto agreed to join this time, she sat on the floor looking up at the pouting janitor.

“How did she win! I didn’t see her knock anyone out!” Naoto smiled as Yuu threw his tantrum.

“You fell off the map six times!” Akira laughed.

“So?”

“And you only targeted me!” Akira continued, “She knocked Kou out three times, and Tanabe five. You only got one on me!”

“How am I so bad at this?” Tanabe laughed.

“You keep forgetting which one you are.” Naoto smiled at him. They all laughed at the the brunette’s confusion.

“We should do teams!” Yuu chirped.

“But there’s an uneven number of us.” The cashier reasoned with his friend.

“Tanabe is like, half a player so it’s still fair.” Yuu teased. His pierced smile made Kouyou’s throat itch.

“Hey, watch it! I’ll kick you out! It’s my house!”

“Just for that he’s going on your team!” The deli worker chuckled and started selecting his team for the next match. “Me and Naoto versus you three. We got this.”

“Wait, you should get him if you get Naoto. It’ll balance everything!”

“I’m right here!” Tanabe waved his hands for attention.

“You can be with us. We just need to find the right character for you.” Kouyou defended his friend. Ever since he learned about his disease, the stock boy and cashier became closer friends. They texted each other more and even met up outside work by themselves, when Tanabe was forcing Yuu and Kouyou together. Several times he set things up at work leaving only Yuu and Kouyou by themselves, therefore forcing them to talk and hang out. Whether or not Yuu liked Kouyou in a romantic way had yet to be confirmed.

“But Koooouu! I want to win!” The janitor’s pouting mimicked that of a child’s. The blonde wanted to melt at how adorable the other could be. His heart raced as the other’s dark eyes watched him.

“We will as long as you stay on the map.” He quipped, raising a laugh from the built butcher. Yuu quickly walked around the coffee table towards the couch. He reached out and wrapped his arm around Kouyou’s neck, putting him in a sleeper hold, albeit a fake one. He pretended to wrestle with the cashier. They fell onto the floor and Kouyou shrieked and Yuu giggled. Tanabe and Akira cheered for the blonde to fight back. Naoto grabbed her phone and started to take pictures.

A figure at the doorway interrupted the fight. “Hey, you guys are making too much noise this early in the morning.”

Takanori stood in the doorway, his blonde hair tossed in different directions on his head. He was wearing black sleep pants and a tank, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I’m sorry babe, did we wake you?” Tanabe’s dimple snuffed out any anger that the blonde had.

“It’s alright, I wanted to make some coffee anyways. Yuu, get off your boyfriend and play your damn game.” The short blonde called out the janitor currently sitting on top of Kouyou.

“Pfft. I’m not gay or anything.” He laughed and released his friend. Kouyou was relieved to be able to breathe again, but he hid the hurt he felt from Yuu’s words.

“Sure, whatever.” Takanori walked towards the kitchen, leaving the grocery store employees to their game.

Akira started the match and chaos ensued the screen. Nintendo characters bounced around on the television hitting each other with weapons. Yuu and Tanabe were trying their best against Naoto and Akira. Kouyou, on the other hand, was too busy focusing on the earlier wrestling match. Yuu’s admission had the cashier lost in his own head. _He’d reject me if I confessed. I guess he doesn't see me in that way._

Kouyou’s character on screen was getting beat up by Akira. But the cashier paid more attention to the nausea and itching of his throat. He was going to have another episode, and from the pain in his chest, he didn’t think he could ignore it. He was trying to hold off for his team’s sake, but he tossed his controller on the couch and ran in front of Tanabe, out the doorway. Naoto paused the game as they watched him leave without a word.

He ran through the kitchen, grabbing the attention of Takanori, and slammed the bathroom door behind him. He fell to his knees and started his gagging over the toilet. Waves of plant life exited his mouth, coating the porcelain bowl. Petals mixed with vomit burned his esophagus as his chest ached for air. A stabbing pain shot through his chest with each heave. He heard his labored breathing and agonized gasps echo off the walls. He hoped no one was standing outside the door listening.

His fingers gripped the seat tightly as he felt another wave of nausea claw its way up his throat. He sweated and panted as he lost control of his stomach. He opened his mouth and emptied its contents into the bowl. He coughed and felt something scratch along his tongue. A twig landed into the toilet. He gasped in shock as he tasted blood and saw the piece of wood float in the bile. It scared him. When Tanabe told him about the disease, he only mentioned flowers, not tree limbs.

He closed his eyes and rested against the side of the tub. The coldness of the porcelain felt refreshing against his sweat-coated skin. He focused on steadying his breathing and stopping his hands from shaking. After five minutes, he collected his nerves and reached forward to flush the toilet. He stood, with some difficulty, and washed his hands.

He opened the door, relieved no one was standing outside, and walked to the kitchen. Takanori was standing at one of the counters drinking a cup of coffee. He looked at the blonde cashier slowly walking into the kitchen.

“You’re pale.” Kouyou shrugged and walked towards the shorter man. He was offered a cup of coffee that he graciously accepted. Anything to get the awful taste of blood and grass out of his mouth.

“Was it bad? It sounded painful.” Takanori asked as he handed the hot mug to the man beside him. He took a sip of it, wincing at the sensation of the hot liquid running over his cut tongue and sore throat. But at least the taste was good.

“Yeah. It hurt worse this time. It came on so sudden too.” He tapped his fingers against the mugs while he thought. “They must be worried.”

“They can wait.” The homeowner intently stared at the taller man’s mouth. Kouyou shifted on his feet uncomfortably at the scrutinizing gaze. “You have blood on you lip.”

Kouyou wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. When he looked, he saw red smeared on it. Fear shook his entire body at the sight. He remembered the twig he coughed up.  He looked up at Takanori with wide, deer-like eyes.

“Is it getting worse?” The smaller man asked, his words laced with concern.

“I...um...this time was different. There was...I…” Kouyou stuttered, frightened. “I threw up some twigs this time.” His eyes darted between Takanori and the blood on his hand. The shorter blonde gasped.

“Kou! How long has this been going on!? You might need surgery!”

“For what?”

The pair in the kitchen stopped and turned their attention to the source of the new voice. Yuu was standing in the kitchen doorway. He had a child-like innocence painted on his face, as his lips were slightly parted. His eyes studied the two near the counter.

“Hey Yuu.” Takanori bowed in a greeting as the cashier was frozen in place.

“What do you need surgery for? Kou, are you sick?” Yuu hurriedly walked forward to fret over his friend.

“I’m fine Yuu, I just had an upset stomach. I’m sorry for-” Kouyou finally snapped back to reality and tried to calm his friend down only to get interrupted.

“Bullshit! He said ‘surgery’ so what’s really wrong!” The janitor snapped.

Kouyou watched his friend’s face with shock. He never saw him look angry before. He was always the smiling, comic-relief of their group. Now he stood in front of him with a scowl. The cashier couldn’t shake the surprise in order to reply. Takanori tried to step in.

“Yuu, it’s not really something he’s comfortable talking about.”

“But I’m his friend. He promised me if he was sick he’d tell me.” Yuu’s face shifted to one of hurt. His face was on the verge of tears. “Why can’t you tell me? I thought you were my best friend.”

“I am!” Kouyou’s voice cracked. “You are my best friend. That’s part of the reason I can’t tell you.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why can’t you tell me!?”

Yuu’s shouting bounced off the kitchen walls. Kouyou was sure everyone in the living room could hear them. His friend was furious. The cashier couldn’t bring himself to look his friend in the eyes. His chest was aching at Yuu’s distress.

“Yuu, I don’t want to make you upset, please.”

“Am I the problem? Is that why you can’t tell me?”

“No!” Kouyou raised his voice and replied instantly. He looked Yuu in the eyes and his heart felt like it shattered. His friend had tears running down his face. His lips were turned downwards in a saddening frown. Yuu’s brows were furrowed and he looked so crestfallen. Kouyou could see the others standing in the doorway out of the corner of his eyes.

“Yuu, you are not the problem. Trust me.” Kouyou rested his hands on his friend’s shoulders.

“Then what’s wrong?” Yuu choked out a sob.

That was all Kouyou could take. He coughed and a line of blood fell out of his mouth and splattered on the floor. Yuu backed away and shrieked in horror. The cashier covered his mouth as he coughed, the blood slipping through his fingers. He closed his eyes and groaned in pain. His chest felt like it was burning internally. Takanori rushed to his side and supported him with his shoulder. Tanabe went to calm down a shaking Yuu.

The small blonde walked Kouyou to the bathroom before he threw anything else up. “Tana, call an ambulance.” He shouted to his boyfriend.

He shut the bathroom door behind them. Kouyou hung his head over the toilet again. He vomited blood mixed with cherry blossoms. Larger twigs now fell from his mouth, scratching his throat on their way up. He heard his friends running around outside the door between gags.

His breathing was becoming constricted and he panted louder to get more oxygen. He became lightheaded and felt dizzy. He fell against the toilet and laid down on the floor. He vaguely heard Takanori shouting his name and felt him shaking him. He couldn’t find strength to pay attention to that. All he could think about was the hurt he caused Yuu. His friend and crush that always smiled and made everyone happy. He never meant to make him cry, but now that he did he felt terrible. Maybe he deserved to suffer like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking an entire month to upload a chapter, it's more likely than you think! I'm so sorry. (っ- ‸ – ς)


	4. Overtime

_ ~Beep~ _

Yuu cried.

_ ~Beep~ _

He hates me.

_ ~Beep~ _

Kouyou’s eyes remained closed. He could not find the energy to open them. His whole body felt heavy. His lungs ached with each breathe. With each inhale, his lungs felt constricted, leaving him short of breath. As he exhaled, he felt sharp stabbing throughout his chest, like a thousand little bee stings.

The pain brought tears to his eyes. He couldn’t control them as they formed. The water slid down his lids and spilled over his cheeks. He couldn’t stop them from falling down his face. The sensation of water on his face brought him closer to consciousness.

_ ~Beep~ _

The feeling of another person’s skin stirred him slightly. He felt the warmth of someone’s calloused thumb wipe at his tears. It was comforting and made Kouyou whine at the loss of contact. He was alone again. Unable to see or hear anyone.

The loneliness reminded him of Yuu and the hurt expression on his face. He remembered every tear he saw flowing down his friend’s cheeks. He remembered the frightened and shaken expression Yuu had when his blood fell to the floor. He remembered everything, and he hated it.

_ ~Beep~ _

That noise was starting to irritate Kouyou. Every time he felt like he was going to drift to sleep, that high pitched beep would keep him awake. It sounded like it was beside his head. Though he felt tired, he opened his eyes and quickly shut them again. He was blinded by a bright light.

He winced and attempted to open them again. This time his eyes adjusted to the brightness better. Little by little his eyelids fluttered open. He noticed the white ceiling and walls surrounding him. They looked eerie and clean. When he turned his head to the side, he noticed a mask strapped to the lower half of his face. It was an oxygen mask with a long tube to help him breathe. 

_ ~Beep~ _

His attention then shifted to the source of the beeps. He saw the screen above his bed that showed his heart rate. The beeping of the machine was loud and obnoxious to his ears. His eyes trailed down his arms and saw all manners of IV and drips connected to him. They bruised his arm in various places and Kouyou couldn’t figure out what half of them were for.

“You’re awake?!” 

A voice jolted Kouyou’s head the other side of his bed where he was greeted by the sight of Akira. His friend was sitting in a chair with his legs crossed. His hair was messy and unstyled, and his face looked tired. The bags under his eyes were dark and easily noticeable. He sported a sad smile on his face when Kouyou looked at him.

The blonde parted his lips to say something, but his mouth was dry and tasted of blood and medicine. The oxygen mask was also in his way. All he could do was gasp and fog up the mask. His eyes widened as the pain of his surroundings was setting in.

“Woah, there. Don’t push yourself. You look like you’ve been through hell.” Akira placed his hands on the cashier’s shoulders and gently pushed him against the bed. Now that he was closer, Kouyou saw the redness in his eyes, as if he’d been crying.

“How do you feel? Can you talk?”

The cashier once again tried to open his mouth and speak. A guttural groan was the only sound he produced. It burned his throat. Tears began clouding his vision at his inability to talk. The muscular butcher chuckled.

“Don’t get upset. I’ll go get a nurse. Now that you’re awake I’m sure they’ll unhook you from some of this crap.” His friend patted his shoulder and strolled out of the room. Leaving Kouyou alone once again.

The blonde sat in silence, listening to the beeping of the machinery around him. He tried to silence the panic in his mind. He had no idea how long he had been here. He didn’t know why he woke up to Akira beside him, and no one else. Were the rest of his friends mad at him? He made a scene in Tanabe’s kitchen and spoiled their game night; maybe they were afraid like him.

The tears started to fall faster as he remembered Yuu. His happy-go-lucky friend actually cried and shouted at him. Anger flooded the dark-haired man’s face when Kouyou refused to tell him why he was sick. He caused him pain when he desperately tried not to, all because of this stupid disease. He clenched his hands into fists as he let the tears roll freely. 

Before long, a doctor walked into the room followed by a nurse. It was the same doctor that Tanabe recommended Kouyou see when he revealed his disease, Dr. Oshiro. The man was slender with dark hair, he looked young for his profession. The nurse scurried around him as he examined the papers in his hands. He instructed her to remove the oxygen mask and up his morphine dosage. The doctor pulled the chair that Akira was sitting in closer to the bed. He plopped down in it and smiled at his patient. 

“Glad to see you awake. How do you feel?” He asked in a calm, professional voice. He studied his patient for any signs of discomfort or irregularities.

“Terrible.” Kouyou whispered with a dry, hoarse voice.

“I expected as much. Do you remember what happened?” 

Kouyou weakly nodded. “I threw up blood.” 

“And then you passed out. You’ve been out for three days while we tried to slow down the progression of your disease.” Dr. Oshiro explained. 

_ Three days?! _ This horrified Kouyou. He was managing his sickness just fine, but this sounded serious. Dr. Oshiro must have sensed the cashier’s panic, he placed his hand on the young man’s arm.

“I know this is a lot to take in now, but your Hanahaki disease is spreading. You may notice some difficulty in your breathing. That’s the roots spreading throughout your lungs. At this stage, if it goes untreated, you will die.”

The doctor’s face shifted from professional to one of general sadness. He just delivered some bad news to a patient that only just woke up. But he had to explain the whole situation due to the severeness of Kouyou’s condition.

“I’m that bad, huh?” The blonde croaked. 

“I’m afraid so. At this point, I’d recommend surgery. It will save your life, but all your feelings towards your love will be forgotten. As a side effect, you may even forget them all together.”

Kouyou’s head whipped to the side so fast, he heard a snap in his neck. His eyes were wide, like a deer in headlights. The tears never slowing down. His mouth fell agape at the news. “I would forget him?!” He couldn’t control his volume and shouted at the doctor.

“We cannot perform the surgery without your consent, though. However, the only other option is to confess. But with how far along you are, any rejection may kill you.” Dr. Oshiro could not hide the sadness in his voice. He wasn’t like the other stone-faced doctor’s Kouyou had seen.

Silence filled the room while Kouyou tried to register what was going on. He was practically at death’s door, yet he wasn’t sure if he’d want to forget Yuu. Even if it was to save his life.

“I’ll give you time to weigh your options. I hope for your recovery, Kouyou.” Dr. Oshiro excused himself and solemnly walked out the room.

Akira returned a few moments later and sat down in the same chair. He leaned forward on his knees and didn’t speak right away. Kouyou was now sitting up in his bed. The hospital gown looked too big for his slim frame, making him appear even more sickly. His shoulders started to shake as his sobs became more and more uncontrollable.

Akira leaned over the bed and hugged his friend as he wept. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks and reddened his tired eyes. Snot began to fall from his nose as he let out ugly wails. His bawling grew louder than the machines around them. He shook as his chest ached with each intake of air. His hand reached up and gripped the back of his friend’s shirt. His knuckles whitened as his hands clenched against cotton. His cries finally silenced once the morphine made its way through his body. The pain had been numbed, but the sadness was still there. 

“So, Tanabe told me everything.” Akira spoke once his friend quieted down. He still held him in a hug.

Kouyou wasn’t shocked. He figured after what happened, he’d demand to know what’s wrong, and Tanabe is easily intimidated. He nodded, waiting for the butcher to continue.

“Shit man, I didn’t know all this was happening or I would’ve helped you out sooner.” His voice cracked as he held back his own tears.

“Sorry.” Kouyou mumbled against Akira’s shirt. He felt embarrassed at how vulnerable he was right now.

“You’re so damn quiet. I’m sorry for not noticing your pain.” Akira’s voice cracked as he held back tears.

“I must have scared you all….again.” Kouyou hugged his friend tighter, remembering the time they sent him home from work.

“You really scared Yuu. He won’t stop blaming himself.”

“What?!” Kouyou moved away from the hug and looked at his friend’s face.

“He keeps saying it’s his fault. He yelled at you, and then you threw up blood. It took Tanabe hours to calm him down.”

“Yuu…” The blonde whined. He never wanted Yuu to feel at fault. 

“And don’t worry, he’s still in the dark about the whole Hanahaki thing. Though he’s furious at us.” Akira smiled sympathetically.

“So I take it that you know….a-about my feelings?” The blonde looked at his hands. A pink tint embracing his cheeks.

“Kou, I’ve known since you started working there. You have had a mad crush on him for years.” The butcher smiled.

The cashier didn’t respond. He continued to avert his gaze. He felt so weak and helpless. The news about his life-threatening disease mixed with the emotional hurt with Yuu was hard to comprehend all at once. He was scared. 

“Kou,” Akira’s voice broke Kouyou’s self-loathing and grabbed the man’s attention. “Please, let us help you. I overheard some of the doctors. It sounds like you’re going to be here for a while.” 

“How can you help me? Yuu hates me.” The blonde closed his eyes and sighed. He appreciated the gesture. But at this point, how could he help?

“Yuu doesn’t hate you. He hates himself.” Kouyou wasn’t sure if he was suppose to feel comfort in his words. No matter how he looked at it, the cashier was to blame for the whole situation.

* * *

 

“It was Akira’s turn tonight?” Takanori asked.

The remaining members of the Kao’s Market night crew curled up in the security room. Takanori had his arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s shoulders, sitting against the wall. Despite him not actually being an employee, they still allowed him in the security room. Naoto sat on her chair in front of the monitors. She was snacking on a bag of cookies, probably from Akira. Yuu sat on the ground, opposite Tanabe and Takanori. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees. 

“Yeah, he went last night too. He was real insistent on being there when he woke up.” Tanabe responded.

“I wonder if he’s awake.” Naoto pondered aloud.

Yuu kept quiet in the corner. His joyous attitude had not been with him for the past three days. He was so mad at Kouyou for keeping secrets from him. He remembers the few words he heard between him and Takanori. 

_ I thought we were best friends, so why were you talking to Takanori? What is he allowed to know that I’m not? _

Yuu hated how jealous he felt. He was glad Kouyou was opening up more to everyone. He never talked much about himself. But he didn’t understand why he wasn’t able to know about whatever sickness he had.  _ I thought he trusted me. _ He bit down and played with his lip ring as he thought. 

“Yuu, you okay?”

The dark-haired janitor looked up and found Naoto questioning him. As well, the couple against the wall stared at him with concern. He huffed. He knew Tanabe told every one of them what was wrong with Kouyou, except him. Though they all played dumb when he asked, he knew.

“No, I’m not. I’m the reason he’s in the hospital.” He sulked.

“Yuu,” Tanabe offered a small smile in comfort. “Kouyou was sick before your fight. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I may be more inclined to believe that if I knew what was wrong with him.” The venom in his voice made the stock boy flinch. Yuu didn’t want to lash out at his friends, but he wanted answers.

“We don’t know either, Yuu…”

“Bullshit!” Yuu interrupted the short blonde before he gave him the same spiel he’s heard from everyone. “I know he told you what’s wrong! He was talking to you in the kitchen about surgery or something!”

Yuu’s hands clenched into fists as his entire body tensed up. He gritted his teeth as his mind tried to form his thoughts into words. His anger was boiling over.

“I’ve been his best friend for years, why do you get to know and not me?”

“It’s not that simple.” Naoto’s quiet voice tried to reason.

“How would you know? You’re too busy ogling at Akira to notice anything.” The woman remained calm at Yuu’s insults. If she took offense, she didn’t show it.

“Yuu!” Tanabe shouted in a scolding tone. He stood up, his face growing irritated. The janitor shot up to his feet to be at eye level with the stock boy.

“Don’t ‘Yuu’ me, you know and you won’t tell me. I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to know. What makes you so special and me so worthless?! Why do you get to know?!”

“Because I had the same fucking disease!” The brunette snapped. Surprise was written on everyone’s face. The polite stock boy never yelled at anyone before. The short blonde placed a hand on Tanabe’s shoulder to comfort his boyfriend.

“When I drove him home that night, I found out he has the same fucking disease I had. He was embarrassed and scared. I didn’t want him to feel alone, because it sucks.” The angered brunette’s face scrunched up as tears blurred his vision. Takanori now moved to hug his lover.

Yuu was taken aback. He felt a wave of guilt crash into him. Not only did he upset Kouyou, he now made Tanabe cry. With his comment to Naoto earlier, he was sure she’d kill him. He stood in place, rubbing his arms in anxiousness, afraid to look at anyone anymore. 

“I have to go mop something.” He mumbled before he swiftly exited the room. He felt like a selfish jerk. He briskly walked aimlessly down the aisles, tears threatening to spill over. He bit his lips to choke back his sobs.

_ I’m such an ass. I hurt everyone around me. I never considered how everyone else was feeling. _

He ended his wonderings in the cereal aisle and slumped to the floor. He curled up on himself and let his cries escape. The tears stung his eyes as he could no longer stop them. They could all probably see him on the security cameras, but he didn’t care. He was hurting just like them. He was sorry about what he said to them all, but he was still furious with his lack of answers.

He leaned his head against the shelves and let out whimpering sobs. He missed the carefree nights they spent together. The mischief and fun they all had. Now his best friend was sick and he managed to piss off everyone else.

_ I’m so selfish. _

* * *

 

Kouyou tried to swallow the stale hospital food that Akira brought him. He didn’t have much of an appetite. But the butcher sat at his bedside and personally made sure his friend ate the meal. He was very intimidating when he wanted something. Kouyou finished his soup with much effort. It tasted like it had been sitting out for a few hours since it was lukewarm. But he left the peanut butter and jelly sandwich untouched.

“Eat.” Akira’s low voice commanded.

Kouyou shook his head. “My throat hurts.” His voice was scratchy and sounded tired.

“Sorry. I should’ve gotten you more soup.” Akira sighed and leaned against the chair. He looked so worn out.

“Everything okay?” Kouyou asked as he pushed his food off to the side.

“You’re the one in the hospital bed, and you’re asking me if  _ I’m _ okay?” The blonde butcher laughed in disbelief. The cashier still waited for an answer.

“Yeah, well I don’t want you to blame yourself.” He sighed. “I actually collected the courage to ask Naoto out.”

Kouyou’s eyes widened. “What did she say?”

“She said ‘yes’ and we were gonna go on our first date after Smash Bros at Tanabe’s but….” He trailed, desperately looking at his friend to reassure him it wasn’t his fault.

“I passed out.” 

“Yeah, but it’s fine. We’ll go once you’re out and about again. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m happy for you.” Kouyou smiled. His friend beamed with cheerfulness talking about Naoto; even if they didn’t go on a date yet. Those two awkwardly flirted with each other for over a year now. 

“So, if I confessed to her, you gonna do the same to Yuu?”

The bedridden blonde coughed at the mention of his crush’s name. He was fortunate nothing came up, since his nausea was still there. Akira rubbed his back to sooth the cashier’s outburst. He bit the inside of his cheek to hide his smile, still waiting for a response.

“I can’t. Not now.”

“Why not?”

“He hates me. And he’ll reject me, cause I’m a guy and he’s not gay. Then I’ll….” Kouyou felt a sob and couldn’t finish his sentence. His emotions ran high and he could no longer control them. His mind was flooded with the sadness and guilt he felt from the fight they had.

“Maybe I should get the surgery.” The patient chewed his cheek as he thought aloud.

“No.” The blonde was stern and stared stone-faced at his friend. “If you forget Yuu, he’ll be crushed and I’m afraid what that’ll do to him.”

“What do you mean? Without me he’d have no worries and everything can go back to normal.”

“Wow, you’re dumb.”

“Huh?” Akira’s bluntness confused the blonde patient. 

“How can things go back to normal if you forget him. You’ll still work together. Things will be awkward. And how do we tell Yuu about the sudden amnesia? He’d blame himself for sure!”

Akira unintentionally started shouting. His tired face showed anger at Kouyou’s reasoning. HIs voice intimidated the blonde, who curled up on himself. He hugged his arms and fought back his cries. Despite the turn in Akira’s mood, he knew what he was saying was right.

“But what if he rejects me? I’ll….I’ll die.” The cashier whispered, scared of infuriating his friend anymore. Akira sighed and mumbled an apology under his breath. He leaned his back against the chair and wiped at his face, rubbing his temples. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the loud buzzing in his pocket. He reached in to pull out his phone and check his messages. The room grew silent as he now typed away on his cellular device. Kouyou sat in his bed and watched his friend carry on a conversation with someone else beside him. After a few minutes, he closed his eyes and sighed again, letting the hand holding his phone fall to his lap.

“Yuu’s on his way here.”

“What?!” Kouyou coughed. 

“Naoto just texted me. Apparently he just yelled at everyone at work and stormed off. He then coaxed your room number out of Tanabe. She saw him drive off on the cameras. He’s probably on his way here.”

The news alarmed Kouyou. He started to cough again, but this time the medicine didn’t help him keep anything down. He immediately spewed cherry blossoms from his mouth. Petals and leaves mixed with his vomit splattered on his gown and bed. HIs retches grew louder when smaller twigs fell from his lips with blood.

Akira reached over his bed and pressed the emergency button to call a nurse. He tried to remain calm, despite the panic in his mind. He then grabbed the bedpan and held it in front of his friend’s face. Kouyou grasped at his throat in pain and he continued to heave. 

Within a minute, two nurses rushed into the room. One ran over to the monitors and drips, she began to adjust dosages and switch bags around. The other relieved Akira of his position by the bed and asked him to wait outside. He nodded and obliged.

He left the room. Behind him he heard Kouyou’s cries and vomiting, as well as raised female voices talking. He pitied his friend. Yuu was stubborn, and despite Kouyou’s weariness of seeing him, he was on his way here regardless.

  
_ I hope you figured out what you’re going to say to him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEAAHH! ANGST!!! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ Hope you like it!


	5. Call Off

_ I hate hospitals. _

Yuu walked the maze of hallways trying to locate Kouyou’s room. His anger and sadness from earlier was replaced with anxiety. He didn't know what he planned to say to his best friend when he stormed off. 

The symmetrical white walls of each passageway left Yuu wandering around. He didn't know if he already walked through here or not. He knew Kouyou's room number, but not the exact location in the building. 

The hall he was currently in was more crowded than the previous ones. He could smell the scent of various foods. A mixture of chicken, cakes, and soups filled his nostrils. The aroma would usually make is mouth water, he was know to eat. But the hospital setting turned his appetite. He quickened his pace past the cafeteria; bumping into a few people to make his way through. 

While his feet carried him further along the sterile smelling halls, Yuu continued to wrack his brain about what he was going to say to his friend if he finds him. A gurney surrounded by doctors and nurses was hurtling down the hall towards him. The janitor dodged the commotion by turning into a nearby sitting area. The small room was filled with cushioned chairs, flattened from years of use and ancient magazines scattered on various tables. There was only one person sitting in the room who Yuu recognized.

“Akira?” Yuu blurted out. 

The blonde butcher jumped at the voice interrupting his silence. Yuu was both relieved and angry to see their friend. He realized with Akira here, he was close to finding Kouyou. But he was furious that the man was allowed to sit with his best friend in the hospital, spending the night by his side. He’d admit, he was jealous.

“Hey, Yuu.” Akira had little enthusiasm in his voice. He greeted his friend with a tired smile. Yuu noticed his friend’s unkempt hair and the prominent bags under his reddened eyes. The sight stunned him, it looked like his friend had been crying. He knew the man for being the “tough guy” of their group. The situation with Kouyou shook things up amongst everyone.

“Aki…” The janitor choked on his words, feeling a sob try to escape. He hadn’t realized he was on the verge of tears himself. Akira rose to his feet and immediately cradled Yuu in a hug. He rubbed at the pierced man’s back, feeling him tremble under his palm.

Yuu bit at his lip and closed his eyes. He refused to let his emotions cause him anymore tears. He straightened his back and released himself from the butcher’s grip. He looked the man straight in the eye and furrowed his brow in determination.

“Where is he?”

“Yuu, he’s not doing well.”

“Save it. I want to see him  _ now _ !” He enunciated his last word slowly.

“Yuu, he’s not accepting visitors right now, he just had another attack. I had to call the nurses and they shipped me out of the room.”

“Then I’ll wait here ‘til I can see him.” Yuu curtly sat down on a nearby chair and crossed his legs. Akira sat down beside his stubborn friend to keep him company. They had no idea how long they’d have to wait.

“You are going to talk to him alone.” It wasn’t a question, so much as a command from Akira.

“I am.”

They sat in silence, listening to the sounds of the doctors and nurses moving around the building. The waiting room had two hallways connected to it, the one Yuu entered and the other one he assumed Kouyou’s room was down. He was tired of all the secrecy around his best friend. He grew jealous at everyone’s knowledge of the situation.

“Are you mad at him?”

Akira’s question made the janitor think. He wasn’t sure. He knew he was mad that everyone kept him out of the loop. But then again, Kouyou wouldn’t tell him what’s wrong either. So he was a little mad towards him. But he felt guilt for being angry at such a sickly man. 

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. He didn’t dare look anywhere but the doorway leading to the cashier’s room. Impatiently waiting for a nurse or doctor to appear with some kind of news.

“You said he just had an attack? How bad is he?” Akira leaned on his knees, mulling over his response.

“I think….he’s really bad. He might….” Akira didn’t want to finish his thought and trailed off.

“If he’s that bad, why am I not allowed to know? If my best friend dies, why can’t I be there for him.” Yuu struggled to keep his emotions in line. 

“I think you should be there. I think he’d like that.” 

The response had Yuu snapping his neck to look at Akira. The blonde was too tired to keep Yuu in the dark. After all, they needed Yuu in order for Kouyou to have any hope of recovery, without surgery. The butcher was done trying to shield the janitor from the truth.

“Yuu, you came all this way for him. Do you care for him?”

“Of course I do, he’s my friend.”

“You must care for him alot if you yelled at everyone.”

“You know about that.” He slouched in his seat, biting at his lip ring. Remorse on his face.

“Naoto told me you’d come here.”

“She called you? You have her number?”

“Texted. And yeah. I asked her out.”

“No way! When?!” Yuu shot him an incredulous look, a tiny smirk gracing his lips.

“Before all this happened. It took me a while to build up the courage to tell her how I felt. But regardless of how things turned out, I knew I wouldn’t regret it.”

“Sap.” He teased the nose-banded man.

“You should air out any feelings with Kouyou. Instead of bottling them and exploding on our co workers.” Akira ignored the jab and remained serious. Yuu squirmed in his seat and whined.

“What feelings? I’m not good with all this emotional stuff. I just want things to be normal again.”

“You’re mad at me for being here, aren’t you?” 

The janitor shrugged, uneasy with the line of questioning. 

“You can admit it. I understand.”

“Okay, yes. I was angry when I heard you spent the night by Kou’s side.” The janitor sighed.

“And why is that?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re jealous.”

“What?! Why?!” Akira was reading Yuu like a preschool book. It was like he could read his mind.

“Because I was spending more time with Kouyou than you.” Yuu was rendered speechless. 

He shifted in his seat under the scrutinizing eye of his friend. He wasn’t afraid to admit his jealousy to himself, but not to anyone else. He knew what people often thought of jealousy. It was a selfish emotion.

“Yuu…” Akira sounded like a father trying to get his son to confess.

“Alright. Yes! I’m jealous but I don’t know why! Happy?” He lamented and threw his hands up in disgust.

“You want to spend more time with him because you care for him. He’s important to you.” 

Before Yuu could respond, a nurse in mint colored scrubs entered the room.She was standing in the doorway that led down to patient’s rooms. She smiled at the two men and bowed slightly. 

“Kouyou Takashima is ready to accept visitors again. Sorry for the earlier interruptions. He should be doing better now.” She turned around and walked away without waiting a response. She was busy and had other patients to oversee.

Yuu bounced out of his seat and prowled his way down the hall. All the rooms were numbered, so he was confident he could find his friend. He left Akira sitting in the waiting room by himself.

_ I hope I pushed him in the right direction. Both of them are so stubborn. _

* * *

 

Kouyou sat up in his hospital bed. The nurses steadied his breathing with an oxygen mask. But this time, it wasn’t wrapped around his face. He held it with his hand and  moved it away freely, allowing him to control his breathing when he felt his chest constrict or ache. There were more IV drips attached to him than there were before. He arms were bruised from all the needle holes.

He wondered if Akira was still in the hospital. It had been hours since he saw any of his friends. His thoughts went to Kao’s Market and what his friends were up to. Whether or not they were goofing around or sitting patiently to hear of his condition. He hoped it wasn’t the latter. He didn’t want to be the cause of everybody’s pain.

The beeping of his heart monitor and the wheezing of the oxygen mask echoed through his ears that he didn’t hear the rushed footsteps enter his room. His eyes were watching the drips, trying to make out what half of them were. The figure crept closer without a sound. Kouyou turned and jumped from the sight of a new guest. He gasped aloud and dropped his oxygen mask.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” The man leaned forward to pick up the discarded mask, offering an apologetic smile. “I just wanted to check up on you. I heard you had another attack.”

Dr. Oshiro spoke calmly to sooth the blonde’s frazzled nerves. He knew too much excitement could cause his patient great deals of pain. He pulled the chair beside the bed closer and sat down. He scribbled on a clipboard while he inspected all the new IV drips hooked to his patient and copied down the information on the heart monitor.

“How are you feeling?”

“Still the same. My chest hurts.” The cashier winced and rubbed at his chest. 

“You feel pain still? Even with the morphine?” The doctor worried. When Kouyou nodded Dr. Oshiro sighed and wrote frantically on his papers.

“From the looks of it, you are close to the last stage of the Hanahaki disease. At this point, I can only recommend surgery. Even if your feelings are returned, you may not have enough time for your heart to heal itself. The damage that’s already done is nearly impossible to reverse. There is a low success rate without surgery.” 

Kouyou felt numb. He didn’t anticipate it to end like this. He never got to tell Yuu how he felt, and now he’d have to forget him in order to live. He wanted to cry, but all the medication he was being pumped with made all his emotions seem nonexistent. He looked apathetic, but internally he was scared and weeping.

“I have no other options?”

“Surgery is the safest bet. Like I said, the damage that’s been done cannot be repaired without extensive surgery.”

The patient sat still, thinking his options over in his head. His eyes darted between his doctor and all the machines and medicine. He was tired of being here. He was tired of feeling the pain, no matter how numb they tried to make him. If Yuu was mad at him, maybe it was better to forget.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Dr. Oshiro wanted to clarify his patient’s answer.

“I would like to go through the surgery. I’m so tired.”

“Excellent. I’ll see when I’m available for surgery. Since this is a drastic case, I might be able to move some appointments around and operate this Thursday.”

“What do you do?” Kouyou wanted to know he would be safe.

“I’m not going to lie, with how severe your Hanahaki is, it’ll be a more involved surgery. I have to remove every inch of the growth or else it could come back. I have years of experience with this and promise you we will cure you. Despite some memory loss, you will have your normal life back.”

Dr. Oshiro looked up and smiled at his patient. However, Kouyou wasn’t listening to his doctor, his eyes were focused on the doorway. The medical professional turned to follow his gaze and spotted the sight of a dark-haired man standing in the doorway. He was wearing jeans and a black shirt underneath a white smock with “Kao’s Market” written on it. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were red. The man had a lip ring he was currently biting as he fidgeted on his feet.

“Is he a friend of yours?” The cashier nodded. But through the indifferent expression, the doctor could detect a little bit of worry in his patient’s eyes. 

“Is he the one?” Once again the blonde nodded. Dr. Oshiro curved his lips into a sympathetic smile. “Take it easy.” He whispered and stood up, walking towards the door. He extended his hand to the young man, nervously moving out of the doorway.

“Hello, My name is Dr. Oshiro.”

“Um.. Shiroyama Yuu.” He weakly shook the man’s hand.

“Please, treat my patient gently. He is very vulnerable right now.”

With that, Dr. Oshiro excused himself and walked down the hall. Yuu didn’t move from his spot, he stared at his friend with wide eyes. His face was pale, and fear was evident on his face. Kouyou didn’t know what would cause such a reaction from the man, until a thought crossed his mind.  _ How much of that did he hear? _

“Um...I’m happy to see you, Yuu.” The blonde patient tried to greet his friend. He was nervous since the last time they saw each other, they fought. He didn’t want a repeat of last time.

“Surgery….you...you need surgery?” His voice cracked while he spoke. Kouyou’s heart was breaking at the sight before him. The man looked completely lost and uncertain. The blonde nodded.

“He said you had a growth?”

“Do you want to sit down?” Kouyou tried to speak in a kind voice, but the medicine numbed him where his tone came out indifferent. The janitor scooted to the chair, hugging his arms to his chest. He studied his shoes as he waited for the blonde to talk.

“Yes. I have a growth….that makes it hard to breath.” He tried to simplify his disease without giving away too much information.

“But he said something about memory loss. What does that have to do with breathing?” 

“....it’s complicated.”

“But Tanabe said he had it, he never forgot anything. Why are you different?”

The blonde looked at Yuu in surprise, though his face didn’t show the emotion. He couldn’t believe Tanabe told him. He wondered how much Yuu heard about his disease.

“Tanabe told you?”

“Yes! He yelled at me and told me. He said you are going through the same thing he went through and didn’t want you to suffer alone. But he’s cured. How come he didn’t lose any memories?”

“He’s a braver man than I am.”

“What?”

“He didn’t go through surgery.” Kouyou’s eyes turned to look at the white wall in front of him. He wanted to explain everything to Yuu. 

“Does that mean you don’t need surgery? Why can’t you do what he did?” Yuu had a small spark of hope in his voice. His face fell again once the blonde shook his head.

“It’s too late for me. I need the operation now.”

“Bullshit. If he could do it why can’t you? You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. I saw you lift a shopping cart over your head before without hurting yourself. And that was just for a dare! Why are you being a coward?” 

Yuu’s word’s stung. The cashier didn’t appreciate the insult. “If I could do what Tanabe did, I would. But surgery is my only option now.” He sighed.

“What would you forget?”

“Hmmm?” Kouyou barely heard his friend. He spoke in a hushed voice that was muffled by the machinery in the room.

“What kind of memories would you lose?”

The blonde turned his gaze to his hands resting in his lap. He did not want to answer that question. He knew his friend would be crushed if he found out he’d forget him. He felt his chest tighten and a soreness form in his throat. He quickly placed the oxygen mask on his face and breathed slowly. He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing. The masked made it a bit easier to get the oxygen in, but it still hurt.

“Kou.” Yuu watched his friend. The suffering on his sick friend’s face hurt his heart. He couldn’t stand to see him like this. He was more withdrawn then usual. He leaned forward and went to lay his hand on his friend’s leg in comfort. Be he hesitated and decided to grasp at the bedsheet beside him instead.

“Do you know what kind of memories would be affected?”

The blonde stayed silent, he continued to look down.

“Would you forget your family?”

No reaction from the blonde.

“Would you forget how to eat or walk?”

Still no response.

“Would you remember me?”

Yuu saw Kouyou wince slightly at his question. It wasn’t much of a reaction, but after knowing him for so long, he noticed it. 

“You’ll forget me!?” The blonde saw Yuu’s eyes widen with panic. “What about Akira and Tanabe?” Yuu was too busy fidgeting with his hands to look at his friend. Eye contact was difficult for him right now.

“You’ll forget us, and you want to go through the surgery anyways! Why didn’t you tell us?!”

“I didn’t want you to worry.” Kouyou’s voice still spoke with indifference.

“You didn’t think we’d find out once you wake up and have no idea who we are?!”

The janitor was livid. His eyes burned holes through Kouyou. He was so frustrated, he could not calm down his mind or hold his tongue. Kouyou never admitted he’d forget anyone else, he knew he wouldn’t. But he couldn’t reveal that to Yuu, especially now.

“You’re mad. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you.” Kouyou wanted to apologize, but he could not make his tone sound sympathetic.

“Oh shut up! You’re being a selfish coward! Did you think about how we’d feel? You’re pain would be gone but ours would still be there! You’d just hurt everyone around you!”

Tears started to fall from the emotional man’s eyes. “You’re such an asshole! All the time we’ve spent together meant nothing. All the hours at work and hanging out, you were my best friend. But I guess only I felt that way.”

The dark haired man started to rub at his eyes to wipe the liquid away from his eyes. Kouyou watched the man. His beautiful face twisted into sorrow thanks to him. Kouyou hated the whole situation, he brought his friend to tears again. He felt his chest tighten at the sight, but ignored it. He set the oxygen mask to the side of his bed and turned to his friend. He weakly reached out to touch his friend. His hand was slapped away with such force hit hit his bed with a loud thud. Yuu viciously looked at the sickly cashier. He bit his lip to stop any sobs from escaping.

Kouyou’s throat ached and he started to taste blood. He watched the man he fell so deeply in love with reject him. He wanted to tell him so many things. He wanted to apologize and tell him he loved him. At this point, he didn’t care if it would kill him. Whether or not his affections were rejected, he didn’t care. He wanted Yuu to know, to understand why he was doing this.

He opened his mouth to speak, but blood pooled out of it. It fell onto the bed and floor in long drips with pink petals swirling in it. He quickly turned his head and covered his mouth with his hand. Yuu remained stunned in his chair, his tears slowing to a stop as he witnessed Kouyou’s struggle.

The cashier started to gag. Each heave produced a long scratching feeling in his throat as he felt a nauseous sensation claw its way up his esophagus. He heaved and bile escaped his mouth. He moved his hand out of the way when he felt a thick twig in his mouth. He spit it out and it landed on his lap along with more vomit and flowers.

Yuu’s mind raced as he tried to fathom what was going on. It was an odd sight to see a man hack up cherry blossoms. He stood up and reached for a box of tissues. The janitor wasn’t squeamish at the sight of vomit, he’s cleaned up worse at work. He pulled some tissues out of the box and leaned over to dab at the sides of Kouyou’s mouth. He tried to wipe up the blood and barf on the man’s hand as well, but he kept retching that it was impossible to clean it all up. Yuu reached behind his friend and pressed the button to call a nurse to the room.

“Kou,” Yuu whined, unsure of what was going on. He continued to dab at his friend’s mouth until a nurse showed up. For the first time today, Yuu saw something besides apathy on his coworker’s face. He saw the hurt and fear flood the man’s features. It stirred something in the pit of Yuu’s stomach. He could only guess it was guilt he was feeling. That and his heart ached at the sight of Kouyou’s suffering.

Before he could think anymore on the situation, a nurse came into the room and immediately pushed Yuu out of the way. She ordered him out of the room while she called for more assistance from the medical staff. Several more nurses entered the room before Yuu walked out. He heard them all shouting at one another. They frantically walked around his friend, each performing a different task.

In the hallway, Yuu weakly made his way back to the waiting room. Maybe Akira was still there and he could ask him some questions. He tried to quiet down his thoughts and worries as he recognized Kouyou’s doctor walking briskly past him into Kouyou’s room. Yuu thought he heard him shout something about prepping for emergency surgery. He continued his trek to the sitting area, hoping Akira was still there.

_ What the hell is happening? _   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` ) I can't believe only one more chapter and this fic is done! Where did the time go? I wonder if it will have a happy ending or not. Guess we'll wait and see! Thank you sooo so much for sticking with me to this point!


	6. Payday

“Yuu!” Akira saw the distressed look on his friend as he weakly made his way into the room. He ran to his dark-haired friend. Yuu limply fell into the butcher’s muscular arms, his body wracked with sobs. The blonde walked over to a couch and sat both of them down. He rubbed Yuu’s back in calming circles while the man cried into his chest. Akira had his suspicions something happened when he saw nurses and doctors running towards the direction of Kouyou’s room.

“It’s bad…” Yuu choked out.

“What happened?”

“I got mad. He said he would forget me! I don’t want him to!” Yuu wailed into his coworker’s built chest.

Akira only hummed in response. After Kouyou passed out that day at Tanabe’s, he found out about the blonde’s illness. He researched it and asked the stock boy about it. He was shocked to discovery the pain both men went through. He was glad Tanabe survived, but worried over his friend’s current battle.

“He threw up. I yelled at him like before and he spit up blood again!”

Yuu’s cries were the only sounds in the empty sitting room. They bounced off the walls and filled the air. His face was scrunched in pain. His emotional state was in a frenzy.

“He threw up flower petals! God Aki, what’s wrong with him? Why won’t anybody tell me!”

Akira straightened. His posture grew rigid and Yuu felt it. He looked up and found a troubled look on the blonde’s face. He was biting the inside of his cheek and stared at the walls, trying to make a decision.

“Aki?”

“It’s about time you knew, I guess.” He sighed. The janitor’s cheeks were stained with tears, and the front of Akira’s shirt had a wet spot in the center of it.

“It’s not fair that we all know and are keeping you in the dark. I know Kouyou wanted to tell you, but he couldn’t.”

Yuu freed himself from the embrace and sat up, awaiting his friend’s explanation. He was finally going to learn the big secret everyone kept hidden.

“But before I do, I need to know one thing from you.”

“What’s that?” Yuu rubbed at his reddened eyes.

“How do you feel about Kouyou?” Akira’s gaze did not break away from the white, sterile walls.

“What do you mean?” Yuu felt a slight burning in his cheeks and a tingling in his stomach.  He didn’t understand why though.

“I want to know what you’re feelings are towards Kou. What do you think of him?”

“I...well….he’s my best friend. I really like being around him. He makes me happy.” The butterflies in his gut became more active the more he talked about the cashier. They excitedly bounced around. “I told you I’m not good with this emotional stuff.” He huffed.

“I’m not asking you to be good. I just want to know whether or not you like Kouyou.”

“Of course I like him. We’re friends.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Akira’s words were stern and he finally turned to look at the janitor. His tears were no longer flowing but his eyes were red, and so were his cheeks. They grew a light shade of red when he realized the butcher’s words.

“I don’t know. I….well….he’s not like that.” He mumbled.

“Not like what?”

“He’s not interested me in that way. We’re just friends.”

“What about you? Do you think of him as more than friends.”

Yuu shrugged and mumbled, “Maybe.” Akira sighed and crossed his arms. He leaned back into the couch and relaxed his stiff body posture.

“Okay that’s good enough for me. Since you’re both stubborn dumbasses I’ll tell you. Kouyou has Hanahaki’s disease. Ever heard of it?”

Yuu shook his head. He heard the doctor talk to Kouyou about it when he visited him earlier, but didn’t hear anything else about it.

“Neither did I until a few nights ago. It’s a growth that forms in your heart. It’s some kind of flower that attaches its roots to your lungs and affects your breathing.”

“What causes it.” Yuu’s eyes dropped down to his hands, shaking in his lap.

“Love. The feeling of unrequited love.”

Yuu’s eyes locked with the blonde at the mention of the word. The blush still on his face and the excitement in his belly tripled. His mouth fell open, shocked as he started to put the pieces together.

“And you couldn’t tell me….”

“Because he loves you, you idiot.” Akira smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

The janitor’s emotions ran wild. He felt joy knowing his best friend had a crush on him. It was flattering. They were always close, maybe he felt the same thing and didn’t know how to explain it. But then the happiness vanished and was replaced with guilt. He was the reason Kouyou was so sick. He caused the disease and all the pain he felt. It was all his fault. His eyes filled with worry and he began to bite at his lip ring. No wonder the cashier never told him anything. It was his fault and now Kouyou was trapped in a hospital, unable to breath and forced to undergo surgery.

“Yuu.”

Akira’s voice broke Yuu’s self-loathing thoughts and grounded him in the present. He turned to look at his friend, who took up a casual sitting position beside him. The butcher moved his hand and rested it on his shoulder.

“It’s not your fault Kouyou ended up this way. I know you are blaming yourself, but Kou is a stubborn dumbass and kept it from everyone. He should’ve just come out and said it. He worries about “what-if’s” too much.”

Yuu smiled weakly at his friend. He knew he was right, but he doubts he’ll ever get rid of the guilt. He sighed. “Now what do I do? He’s gonna forget us.”

“Actually, he’ll only forget you. He’ll remember everything else, just not you. The surgery will make him forget his feelings, and the memory of the person.”

The news Akira just told him nearly broke his heart. He imagined Kouyou walking into work greeting and talking to everyone, and walking right past him without a second glance. He fought back the tears and sighed.“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“I know.”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Maybe it’s time you two talked. Stop hiding things from each other and be open. No more yelling, no more blame, just a sincere conversation.”

Yuu nodded. He understood what Akira was saying. He was scared to talk to Kouyou. Now that he knew, things couldn’t go back to the way they were. Normal was no longer an option. They had to confront this and see what would become of their feelings.

Yuu slowly stood up. Beside him Akira did the same. “Let’s go see if he’s okay and can accept visitors.”

They strolled out of the waiting room. Akira placed his hands in his pockets and tried to slow his pace down to match Yuu’s. The janitor did not have the strength to bolt down the hallway or perform any dramatics. His limbs were sore from all the recent excitement.

Yuu looked ahead where their friend’s room was located. There was no hustle and bustle of medical staff in the hallway. The shouting from earlier was gone, to which Yuu assumed they got Kouyou situated and breathing again. He grew anxious with each step. He ran his script over and over in his head. He wanted to plot out everything he was going to say so they didn’t end up in another argument.

When they got closer, they found the lack of noise eerie. Yuu didn’t hear the sound of the heart monitor or the chatter of staff inside Kouyou’s room. His anxiety spiked when they walked into the room and found no patient lying in the bed. The multiple IV drips still hung on the racks, but the needles fell to the floor, unattached to anything. The heart monitor displayed a single line on each of its screen, not registering anything.

The bedsheets were gone, probably to be cleaned or thrown away from the blood and vomit the cashier stained them with. Yuu spotted a small puddle of blood with a single petal on the floor beside the bed. The cashier must’ve been moved recently and the cleaning staff hadn’t come to the room yet.

“He’s gone.” Yuu whispered. His eyes darting around the room. He examined every minute detail of the room, hoping to see something that would lead him to Kouyou.

“Stay here. I’ll see if I can find a nurse who can tell us where he went.” Akira patted the janitor on the shoulder and trotted out of the room.

Yuu nodded and walked closer to the bed. He saw the imprint from where his friend had been lying for the past few days. He wanted to cry. He felt a rage inside of him. The hospital took away his friend and he wanted him back. He wanted to tell him all these feeling inside of him. He wanted to hug him and make him feel better; and apologize for all the pain he caused the man.

The stale air in the room was cold. Yuu wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his chest for warmth. He was allowing himself to be emotionally vulnerable. He was trying to be transparent with his feelings. He wasn’t sure if what he felt for Kouyou was love exactly, but he knew it was more than friendship.

“Yuu!” Akira returned after a few minutes. It felt longer to Yuu, impatiently awaiting news of their coworker.

“The nurse told me he has to undergo surgery within the next three hours. They took him away to the holding area near the operating room.”

Yuu shot Akira a worried look, and hugged himself tighter. “So I won’t be able to talk to him. It’s too late.”

“Maybe so.” Akira shifted on his feet. He saw the defeat look on Yuu’s face. The dark haired man started to sniffle, his emotions ready to overflow.

“If we can find it, maybe they will let you in.”

“Aki, those areas are restricted. I doubt it.”

“Then we’ll just walk in. What are they gonna do?” Akira casually flailed his arms.

“Umm, they can have us arrested.”

“And? Call the cops. I don’t give a fuck.” Yuu watched as a grin formed on the butcher’s face at his joke. He found his rebellious attitude endearing. He had to admit, at this point, he didn’t care if he got in trouble. He wanted to talk to Kouyou so bad, he was willing to risk jail time.

“God, you’re turning me into such a rebel. Let’s go.”

Akira smiled triumphantly. They walked out of the room together and darted the opposite way of the waiting room. They both walked at a brisk pace. Yuu still hugged his arms, not completely free from the worry in his mind.

“Do you know where it’s at?”

“It’s not that big of a place. We can find it easily.”

“What? It took me two hours to find you or Kouyou.”

“You’re just bad with directions.” The blonde quipped.

“Not true.”

“Remember when I first started and you tried to show me around the store? You somehow got us lost and we could not escape the produce isles.”

“Hey, I was rather new then too!” Yuu pouted. Relieved that Akira was able to lighten the mood during their search for the operating room and Kouyou.

* * *

 

The pair found themselves in a dimly lit passageway. There was a large set of double doors at the end of the hallway. The hustle and bustle of the previous wings of the hospital was absent here. There were a few staff members walking to and fro, but none looked at the two. The nurses had medical masks covering their faces and were too busy looking at the paperwork in their hands and talking to each other as they walked by the night-shift employees.

“Why is this place so dark? Shouldn’t they have more lights?” Yuu turned his head around, trying to see if there were any burnt out bulbs. He felt a little creeped out at the atmosphere.

“It’s probably so they don’t overwhelm the patients while they’re recovering. Dim lighting can be calming?” Akira tried to reason.

“Yeah, let’s ease them out of surgery by making them think they’re in a haunted hospital.” The janitor tried to joke to steady his nerves. Afterall, he didn’t know if they were allowed here or not. “So I guess just straight ahead?”

“I guess. I was expecting us to need some kind of disguise. I was ready to beat up a doctor and steal his clothes.”

“That would probably get us in even more trouble.”

They grew silent as they walked forwards. Both tried to joke in order to ease the apprehension they felt, but now they tried to be stealthy. The steel doors growing bigger in their vision.

“You sure Kouyou’s back there?” Yuu whispered. Akira nodded, his eyes scanning all around them as they edged closer.  

“Do you think it’s locked?”

“How would they push the gurneys through if it was locked? Like a patient is bleeding to death and the doctor just goes, ‘‘scuse me, let me get that door. Hold up for a sec while I unlock it.’ Then the patient would die before they could operate.” The butcher sassed.

“True, but shouldn't they have some kind of security? Anyone could walk in there.”

“And do what? Perform a free operation?”  

“I don’t know. I’m just worried.”

“Maybe we’re just that good at sneaking. Have you ever thought you might’ve been a ninja in a previous life?” The blonde laughed.

When they stood right outside the door, no one was around. The hallway was void off all people, but them. They did hear muffled voices on the other side of the doors. Yuu, being the taller of the two, stood on his tiptoes to look through the small window.

It was blurry, there was a thin white blob, he assumed was a doctor, and what he guessed to be a bed. It looked like there was a person in a green hospital gown lying down. Yuu’s heart jumped at the thought of Kouyou sitting behind the door.

“There’s someone in there with him. I think it’s his doctor.” Yuu whispered back at his friend.

“Do you think he’d be cool and let us talk to him?”

Before he could say anything, the sound of a door opening silenced them. At the other end of the hallway, another doctor started walking their way.  She had her gaze focused on the papers in her arms. She read them as her heels clicked along the tiles. She did not notice the trespassers.

“Shit. Now we can’t go in.” Yuu cursed under his breath, moving away from the door. They may be able to persuade Dr. Oshiro, but there was no telling how strict the other doctors were. Yuu began to sweat nervously, they were cornered.

“You’re lucky I like you.”

“What?” The janitor wasn’t sure what his friend just said.

“You better talk to him. Or I will hurt you. Remember this the next time I ask you for something.”

With that, Akira started running towards the woman. Yuu wasn’t sure what was going through his friend’s head. He watched in disbelief as the butcher went straight for the woman, and snatched the papers out of her hands. He kept running full force, out the way they came in. The woman was furious and shouted at him. She turned and started to chase after him. Yuu found himself alone in the hallway. It took a moment for the situation to settle in Yuu’s head. It happened so fast,  He couldn’t believe what his friend did for him, but was thankful nonetheless. He steadied himself as he turned to the doors. He owed it to Akira to continue on.

The doors creaked slightly as Yuu pushed it open. They were heavier than they looked, so Yuu only opened them wide enough for him to squeeze through. Once he tip-toed to the other side, he found himself face-to-face with another dimly lit room. The interior matched that of the previous passageway.

The janitor’s gaze immediately fell to the patient in the bed. Kouyou’s eyes were hooded and full of sleepiness. Dark bags circles under them. He was thinner than usual; his cheeks lacking the fullness they once did and his face looked sunken in. The cashier's lips were chapped and dry behind the large oxygen mask attached to the lower half of his face. His skin was a sickly shade of pale, the multiple IV’s in his arms scarred and bruised the skin next to the previous punctures. He looked exhausted beyond years. But once he noticed Yuu standing in front of him, his eyes opened more and a small smirk appeared at the corners of his mouth.

The sterile white walls camouflaged the doctor’s lab coat standing beside Kouyou’s bed. Yuu didn’t see him standing there.

“Can I help you?”

The janitor jumped as he remembered Dr. Oshiro’s presence. The man crossed his arms, and waited for a response. His face was unreadable, but Yuu hoped the man would listen to his pleas.

“I need to talk to him.”

“He’s in no condition for a-”

“I don’t want him to forget me!” Yuu interrupted. Both Kouyou and his doctor looked at him in surprise.

“I’m the reason he’s like this. I’m the one he’s gonna forget. I deserve to talk to him before he does, please.” Yuu was frantic. He gazed between patient and doctor, pleading for his chance to come clean.

“I can’t let you alone with him, he can’t handle another episode.”

“Then you can stay, I don’t care if you hear this, I just want to talk to him. I need to tell him before he forgets.” The janitor felt emotional tears collect in his eyes.

After a moment of thought, Dr. Oshiro nodded. “I’ll stand over there.”

He walked over to one of the empty beds and sat down on it scribbling away on his clipboard. He was close to aid if anything happened to his patient, but far away enough to give them their privacy. Yuu slowly paced to the side of Kouyou’s bed. The cashier’s eyes followed him. He lightly sat down on the bed beside his friend.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. Kouyou stirred in his bed a bit to hear the janitor better.

“I know we’ve been fighting alot recently. And I’m sorry. I had no idea what you were going through. I was being selfish.”

Kouyou watched as Yuu’s shoulder shrank. He looked just as tired as him. The janitor never showed this side of himself. He always joked around and laughed, he refused to be serious. Now he sat beside him, looking defeated.

Yuu turned his gaze and met Kouyou. The blonde saw the small smile on Yuu’s plush lips. He felt the man lightly brush his fingers along his arms before grabbing onto his hand. If it weren’t for the oxygen mask, he swore he would’ve lost his breath.

“Akira helped me realize something though.” He shyly squeaked, heart racing in his chest. “He told me you’re sick from unrequited love. That’s what caused your disease.”

The blonde patient felt fear shoot through him. Yuu was the last person he wanted to know about this. He knew how much his friend would blame himself for Kouyou’s state. He never wanted to put the janitor through this.

“And I know the reason you didn’t tell me. I understand, I just wish I wasn’t such a brat about it.” Yuu weakly chuckled to ease the tension. The blonde felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“I don’t know if what I feel for you is love, but I know it’s more than friendship.” He confessed. His cheeks tinted red as he looked at their hands. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Kouyou’s hands. “If it’s not too late, maybe we could see where it leads us. But I don’t know if it’s enough to reverse your disease.”

Yuu’s eyes started to sting as the tears he’d been holding back finally fell. They ran down his flushed cheeks, cooling them with their touch. He bit his lip ring and continued to stare at their hands in longing, thinking about what they could’ve had if he’d known sooner. The cold hand he held onto, twitched and weakly squeezed back. The janitor shot his head up to make eye contact with his friend. He found the patient with tears running down his face too. There was a smile behind his mask and a blush on his face that brought color to his pale cheeks.

Kouyou’s mouth gaped open and closed like a fish. He was unable to speak with the mask. He reached up to it to try to take it off. His fingers did not have enough strength to undo the straps and he grew furious in his attempts, failing each time.

“Doctor!” Yuu spoke towards the mature man sitting across the room. He looked up from his paperwork and walked over to them. He didn’t say anything, only smiled when he stood beside them, seeing their hands.

“I think he wants to say something, but the mask…” Yuu’s eyes strayed to the contraption around Kouyou’s face. Dr. Oshiro nodded. He leaned forwards and undid the straps.

“Please make it quick, I don’t think he can last long without it.” The doctor instructed, holding on to the mask.

Kouyou let out a ragged breathe. It was still difficult to breathe, but his chest felt slightly lighter. It wasn’t as constricted as before. He smiled as he still felt his hand being held by Yuu. After a few moments to steady his breathe, he spoke in a hoarse voice.

“I don’t want the surgery.” Despite the quietness of his voice, he had a look of determination on his face. Yuu couldn’t help the smile on his face growing wider at the news.

“But Kouyou, the damage that has been done is irreversible. You’ll never fully recover without it.” Dr. Oshiro warned, though he did not have a stern expression on his face. In fact, he was smirking a little.

“I don’t want to forget Yuu.” The blonde looked in the janitor’s eyes and blushed deeper. His pale complexion was painted with redness.

Dr. Oshiro hummed. “If we are careful, you can reverse some of the Hanahaki on your own, but you’ll still need surgery to completely get rid of it. We can try an operation that isn’t too invasive as to alter your memory. As long as we monitor it’s progress, we may be able to keep your memories in tact. But it will be a longer process.” The doctor looked at his patient, already expecting his answer.

“That’s fine with me.”

“No fair, that means you’ll be off of work longer!” Yuu playfully slapped the blondes shoulder. Both chuckling at the teasing.

“Yuu,” Kouyou squeezed their hands. “I’m sorry I never told you. I didn’t want you to pity me or feel cornered. But I don’t want to lose you before we even had a chance to start this….relationship or whatever you want to call it.”

Both of them still had tears in their eyes. Dr. Oshiro turned away so they could have their privacy. The dark-haired janitor weakly wiped his tears away and leaned forward. He placed a soft kiss to the blondes chapped lips. They felt rough against his own plush ones. He felt Kouyou smile into the kiss and he did the same. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against the blonde’s.

“Akira was right, we are dumbasses. It took us this long to figure things out.” They both chuckled. The stinging feeling in Kouyou’s chest faded. It was no longer as prominent as it was. His breathing was a little easier too. The pain was easy to ignore. His attention landed on his stomach; he felt anxious at what would happen between them. But he also felt excitement at what was to come. He smiled at the thought, and for once he didn’t cough or feel any pain being this close to Yuu.

* * *

 

“Kouyou.” The blonde felt a finger poking his cheek to wake him from his slumber. He mumbled and tried to swat the distraction away. It worked for a minute, until he felt a set of warm lips pressing against his cheek. They trailed over his face and down his neck leaving a trail of loud and wet kisses. The blonde turned to his side and opened his eyes, finding Yuu sitting on the floor.

The cashier was lying on the couch in his apartment. He had fallen asleep after coming home from work this morning, now it was mid-afternoon and the light shining through the window was almost as blinding as the janitor’s smile. Kouyou was still recovering from his disease after the surgery three months ago. He managed to keep his memories of Yuu and rid himself of his Hanahaki, to much relief. The janitor had escorted him home, he did that often.

“Morning.” The janitor greeted him. Kouyou smiled and reached to push some of Yuu’s dark locks behind his ears. His hair had grown so long since they started dating. He found it attractive when it fell in front of his face.

“Afternoon actually.” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Technicalities.” He waved his hands and giggled. Yuu’s gaze fell to Kouyou’s bare chest. The blonde was sleeping on the couch in a pair of jeans but no shirt. The scar on his thin chest remained as a permanent reminder of their past. The janitor brought his finger up and traced along the healed-over incision.

“How you feeling?” He bit his lip. A habit the cashier always found adorable.

“I’m alright.” He spoke softly and clasped Yuu’s hand to his chest, letting him feel his heartbeat. They both leaned into another kiss. This time it grew a bit heated as their tongues slide over each other’s lips and tasted each other’s breathes. Their moans echoed in both their ears until they pulled apart for air. They gasped a few breaths before Yuu spoke again.

“Good. Cause you know Tanabe planned a little party today.”

“I know. And we have to go. Or else Akira will probably kill us. Unless Tanabe gets to us first.” He chuckles and sits up.

“Are you okay with going?” Yuu tilted his head to the side, playing with his lip ring in nervousness. Kouyou’s heart swelled again at how cute his boyfriend could be.

“Yuu, it’s just a Hanahami. I’ll be fine. I’m not offended at going to a cherry blossom viewing.”

“Yeah but, you know.”  Kouyou bent forward and cupped the dark-haired man’s face in his hands. He saw how the man lean into the touch.

“Just because one almost killed me doesn’t mean all cherry blossoms are evil.” He joked and kissed the janitor’s forehead. Yuu giggled and stood up, holding onto Kouyou’s hands.

“Well, you better get dressed so we can go. Don’t wanna keep everyone waiting.”

Kouyou was about to walk away until he felt Yuu’s hand grasp his tighter. He turned around to look at Yuu, but the janitor quickly buried his face in the taller man’s chest. He nuzzled his nose against the scar and lightly kissed the mark. Kouyou wrapped his arms around the man and rested his face against the dark strands of hair he grew to cherish.

“I love you, I thought you should know.” Yuu whispered against his chest. It was so quiet, the blonde’s racing heart was almost louder. Their faces both blushed as they continued their embrace.

“I love you too.” He replied. Though the janitor already knew that months ago.

They stayed in their embrace, enjoying the warmth of one another. After the months of misunderstandings and fights, they were finally able to stand here like this. All the pain, both physical and emotional, brought them to this moment. They occasionally think back on their situation, there were so many things they would’ve done differently. However, they don’t regret where it led them to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is complete! Thank you for sticking it out to the end with me. I could not bring myself to write a sad ending for this, so I hope that's okay. I want to thank everyone who read this so so much. \\(^_^)/


End file.
